Movie

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

by John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Randy Quaid and 45 others

It's Christmas time and the Griswolds are preparing for a family seasonal celebration, but things never run smoothly for Clark, his wife Ellen and their two kids. Clark's continual bad luck is worsened by his obnoxious family guests, but he manages to kee

(36 total)

Characters

Chevy Chase (36)John Hughes (36)Clark Griswold (36)

“Uncle Lewis: Hey Grizz, Bethany and I figured out the perfect gift for you. Clark: Aw, you didn't have to get me anything. Uncle Lewis: Dammit, Bethany, he guessed it.”

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Tagged: CHristmas Gifts, no gift for you

“Ruby Sue: Rocky bit my thumb. Him's nervous. Clark: Nervous or excited? Ruby Sue: Shittin' bricks. Clark: You shouldn't use that word. Ruby Sue: Sorry. Shittin' rocks.”

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Tagged: shitting bricks, Shitting

“Clark: So, when did you get the tenement on wheels? Eddie: Oh, that uh, that there's an RV. Yeah, yeah, I borrowed it off a buddy of mine. He took my house, I took the RV. It's a good looking vehicle, ain't it? Clark: Yeah, it looks so nice parked in the driveway. [Raises glass to his mouth] Eddie:…”

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Tagged: RV, Tenement, Overstaying Your Welcome

“Clark: Russ, we checked every bulb, didn't we? Rusty Griswold: Sure, Dad. Clark: Hmm... Maybe we ought to just go up there and check... Rusty Griswold: Oh, woo. Look at the time. I gotta get to bed. I still gotta brush my teeth, feed the hog, still got some homework to do, still got those bills to p…”

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Tagged: light bulbs, homework

“Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.”

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Tagged: Merry Christmas, happy hanukkah, Kiss my ass

“Ellen: Clark, I think it'd be best if everyone went home... before things get worse. Clark: WORSE? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell.”

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Tagged: Hell, things could be worse

“Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark? Clark: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.”

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Tagged: christmas lights, house fire

“[Todd and Margo Chester, the Griswolds' yuppie neighbors, appear] Todd: Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big? Clark: Bend over and I'll show you. Todd: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that, Griswold. Clark: I wasn't talking to you.”

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Tagged: Neighbors, Bend Over

“Clark: Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace. Aunt Bethany: [turns to Lewis] What, dear? Nora Griswold: Grace! Aunt Bethany: Grace? She passed away thirty years ago. Uncle Lewis: They want you to say Grace. [Bethany shakes her head in confusio…”

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Tagged: Pledge of Allegiance

“Eddie: Don't go puttin' none of that stuff on my sled, Clark. You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced, cause every time Catherine revved up the microwave I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for a half hour or so. So over at the VA they had to replace it with plastic. It ai…”

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Tagged: metal plate, Piss, Brains

“Eddie: You surprised to see us, Clark? Clark: Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.”

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Tagged: Surprised

“Clark: Hey, Kids, I heard on the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa's sleigh on its way in from New York City. Eddie: [after a pause] You serious, Clark?”

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Tagged: Santa Claus, New York City

“Ellen: What are you looking at? Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer... [Eddie, in the driveway, is draining the RV's toilet] Shitter was full. Clark: Ah, yeah. You checked…”

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Tagged: Surprised, shitters, illegal, asshole, Toilet

“Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on hi…”

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Tagged: Tylenol, CHristmas Gifts, Dickless, Bug-Eyed, Rotten

“Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Cro…”

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Tagged: Christmas, Bing Crosby, Assholes

“We're kicking off our fun old-fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel-drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.”

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Tagged: Christmas Movies