Uh, well, I waited for him to finish smoking his meth, and then we had sex, which, which, I would’ve thought that I wouldn’t have had sex with someone after they smoked meth, but no, there I was, doing it. Turns out I am surprisingly easy-going.
— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Hannah Gadsby, Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, imdb.com
What?!
I'm not wearing a bra and I'm a real fucking writer!
Oh my God. You're a total bitch.
There's a ball bag on the TV.
Eddie: You surprised to see us, Clark? Clark: Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.
Ellen: What are you looking at? Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer... [Eddie, in the driveway, is draining the RV's toilet] Shitter was full. Clark: Ah, yeah. You checked…
Whenever I think I’m certain about something, I’m always surprised.
Bart: Dad, when did you record an album? Homer: I'm surprised you don't remember, son. It was only 8 years ago. Bart: Dad, thanks to television I can't remember what happened 8 minutes ago.
You know... I always thought that dogs, uh, laid eggs. And today, I learned something.
FLIMSY!
— Marta Kauffman, Howard J. Morris, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com
Tutu: Could you help me with where my cheekbones are? Assistant: Look surprised. Tutu: Well, that looked like you felt a little nauseous.
I'd rather be pleasantly surprised than fatally disappointed.
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