Parks and Recreation Season 6

“No, that’s Buckingham Palace. Hogwarts is fictional. You do know that, don’t you? It’s important to me that you know that.”

— Michael Schur, Ben Wyatt, Adam Scott, imdb.com

“It’s like I always say. When life gives you lemons, you sell some of your grandma’s jewelry, and go clubbing.”

— Michael Schur, Jean-Ralphio, Ben Schwartz, imdb.com

“These dogs are so cute I want to throw up and kill myself.”

— Matt Hubbard, Craig Middlebrooks, Billy Eichner, imdb.com

“No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me. I’m like a white, male US Senator.”

— Aisha Muharrar, Leslie Knope, Amy Poehler, imdb.com

“Boss man, I wanna go home early. Ooh, hold on actually, hang on. Yeah, no, I wanna quit and never come here again.”

— Michael Schur, Mona-Lisa, Jenny Slate, imdb.com

“Put some alcohol in your mouth to block with words from coming out.”

— Matt Murray, Harris Wittels, Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman, imdb.com

“Just remember, every time you look up at the moon, I, too, will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, That’s impossible.”

— Harris Wittels, Andy Dwyer, Chris Pratt, imdb.com

“Lucky for me, I've processed all my feelings. And I've gone through the five stages of grief: Denial, anger, internet commenting, cat adoption, African dance, cat returning to the adoption place, watching all the episodes of Murphy Brown, and not giving a flying fart.”

— Amy Poehler, Michael Schur, Leslie Knope, Amy Poehler, imdb.com

“Great job, everyone. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.”

— Michael Schur, Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman, imdb.com

“Child labor laws are ruining this country.”

— Aisha Muharrar, Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman, imdb.com

“History began July 4th, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake.”

— Michael Schur, Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman, imdb.com

“I'd wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.”

— Amy Poehler, Michael Schur, Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman, imdb.com

“Keep your tears in your eyes where they belong.”

— Michael Schur, Aisha Muharrar, Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman, imdb.com

“There has never been a sadness that can’t been cured by breakfast food.”

— Michael Schur, Aisha Muharrar, Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman, imdb.com

“History began July 4th, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake.”

— Michael Schur, Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman, imdb.com

“Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That's ridiculous.”

— Michael Schur, Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman, imdb.com

“[Holds up iPod] TOM PUT ALL MY RECORDS INTO THIS RECTANGLE. THE SONGS JUST PLAY ONE AFTER THE OTHER. THIS IS AN EXCELLENT RECTANGLE.”

— Joe Mande, Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman, imdb.com

“Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars.”

— Megan Amram, Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman, imdb.com

“Time is money; Money is power; Power is pizza; Pizza is knowledge. Let’s go!”

— Amy Poehler, Michael Schur, April Ludgate, Aubrey Plaza, imdb.com