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Real Genius

by Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer and 59 others(20 total)

Chris is the top brain who just wants to party, Mitch is the 15-year-old college wiz kid. Supposedly hard at work on a lab project with a mysterious deadline, they still find time to use their genius to discover new ways to have fun.

Characters

Peter Torokvei (20)Neal Israel (20)Pat Proft (20)Val Kilmer (18)Chris Knight (18)Prof. Jerry Hathaway (2)William Atherton (2)

What are you looking at? You're laborers; you should be laboring. That's what you get for not having an education.

— Neal Israel, Peter Torokvei, Pat Proft, Prof. Jerry Hathaway, William Atherton, imdb.com

laborers Education

Moles and trolls, moles and trolls, work, work, work, work, work. We never see the light of day. We plan this thing for weeks and all they want to do is study. I'm disgusted. I'm sorry but it's not like me, I'm depressed. There was what, no one at the mutant hamster races, we only had one entry into…

— Neal Israel, Peter Torokvei, Pat Proft, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

Moles trolls Madame Curie hamsters

[Discussing how Knight didn't come in to the lab] Bodie: He said he didn't feel like it. And I said, ‘You'd better!’ And he said, ‘Or what?’ And I said, ‘Or you're gonna be in trouble.’ And he said, ‘Jam it.’ Professor Hathaway: That's a wonderful story, Bodie. I noticed you've stopped stuttering. B…

— Neal Israel, Peter Torokvei, Pat Proft, Prof. Jerry Hathaway, William Atherton, imdb.com

Shock Treatment Stuttering

[Chris is holding a lab beaker with pink liquid in it] Chris Knight: Here Mitch, taste this. Go on, you won't hurt my feelings, just try it. What do you think, too sweet? Mitch: What is it? Chris Knight: I don't know, I found it in one of the labs. [Mitch starts to induce vomiting] Chris Knight: Rel…

— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

yogurt sweet

Mitch: But if I stay, what should I do? Chris Knight: You get even with Kent. It's a moral imperative.

— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

Getting Even moral imperative

Jordan: Are you going to take me home to meet your parents? Mitch: No. Jordan: Why? Are you ashamed of me? Mitch: No, them. Jordan: Oh.

— Neal Israel, Peter Torokvei, Pat Proft, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

rue the day campus archaisms

[Kent opens his dorm room door to find his car inside] Chris Knight: Hey, Kent...that's your car. Mitch: Kent, you know you're not supposed to park that on campus. Kent: You've gone too far this time, Knight. Chris Knight: [whiny, scared voice] I had help! [points to Mitch] Kent: You, huh? Well you…

— Neal Israel, Peter Torokvei, Pat Proft, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

rue the day campus archaisms

Look at it this way. Considering the type of people you are and the environment you're in, you have to admit the strong possibility this may be the only chance you ever have in your entire lives...to have sex.

— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

environment Sex

Dr. Dodd: Why is that toy on your head? Chris Knight: Because if I wear it any place else, it chafes.

— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

Mental Illness

Lazlo Hollyfeld: Well, how'd you do? Chris Knight: How'd I do? I passed! But I failed! Yeah! Lazlo Hollyfeld: Well, then I'm happy and sad for you.

— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

Passed failed Happy Sad

Sir, let me take this moment to compliment you on your fashion sense, particularly your slippers.

— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

compliments fashion sense slippers

Professor Hathaway: I want to see more of you around the lab. Chris Knight: Fine. I'll gain weight.

— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

Misunderstanding Double Entendre

Professor Hathaway: When you first started at Pacific Tech you were well on your way to becoming another Einstein and then you know what happened? Chris Knight: I got a haircut?

— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

pacific tech einstein

This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated.

— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

ice Sexual Frustration

Kent: You're all a bunch of degenerates. Chris Knight: We are? What about that time I found you naked with that bowl of Jell-O? Kent: You did not. Chris Knight: This is true. Kent: Look, it was hot and I was hungry, okay?

— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

Jell-O degenerates Naked

Chris Knight: Have you ever seen a body like this before in your life? David Decker: She happens to be my daughter. Chris Knight: Oh. Then I guess you have.

— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

Lust Daughter

Do you mind if I name my first child after you? ‘Dipshit Knight’ has a nice ring to it.

— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

Dipshit

[Chris Knight is trying to hit on Susan, a beautiful woman he finds in Professor Hathaway's house] Chris Knight: So, if there's anything I can do for you—or, more to the point, to you—just let me know. Susan: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis? Chris Knight: Not right no…

— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

penis Dating Standards

Mitch: You know, um, something strange happened to me this morning... Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you? Mitch: No... Chris Knight: Why am I the only one who has…

— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

Dream sun god Pyramid naked women

Mitch: What are you doing? Chris Knight: Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, ‘... I drank what?’

— Neal Israel, Pat Proft, Peter Torokvei, Chris Knight, Val Kilmer, imdb.com

Socrates self-realization hemlock Suicide

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