“Every day is all about me. This one just comes with a cake and bad song.”— April Blair, Charles Addams, Alfred Gough, Miles Millar, Wednesday Addams, Jenna Ortega, imdb.com
“I can't believe this. They fucking forgot my birthday.”— John Hughes, Samantha, Molly Ringwald, imdb.com
“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear... uh-dear... Dear me, what's his name?”— Joe Grant, Mr. Stork (voice), Sterling Holloway, imdb.com
“Issa: Some other day, some shit went down — Kelli: Girl, did he hit you? Issa: What? No. Kelli: Okay, I like Lawrence, but I will go ape on that nigga, okay? Does he have a car? Issa: Kelli. Kelli: I'm gonna fuck that up first. Issa: He did not hit me. Okay? We're — we're just going through this, li…”— Issa Dee, Issa Rae, imdb.com
“Hilda: Sabrina, I do not want a birthday party, I do not want one on the beach, I do not want one with a sneach, I do not want one up in space, I do not want one any place! Sabrina: A party in Whoville?”— Laurie Gelman, Hilda Spellman, Caroline Rhea, imdb.com
“Shawn: And by the way, Dad, my birthday wasn't yesterday. It was...four months ago! Henry: Yeah, well, after you were born it took you four months to smile at me. That's when the clock started tickin'.”— Kerry Lenhart, Henry Spencer, Corbin Bernsen, imdb.com
“Jordan: Great, we made him cry. If we keep this up, we are gonna scar him for life! Dr. Cox: I don't necessarily buy into all that New Age-y crap. I once saw my mom knock my dad unconscious with a frying pan. You know what I did? Kept right on going with my birthday party!”— Janae Bakken, Perry Cox, John C. McGinley, imdb.com
“Jesse: What are you doing here? Bridgette: It's, um you know what, it's Larry's birthday tomorrow, and so I just went to get him some goodies. Jesse: Oh, my God, you had a kid, and you named him Larry Bird. Bridgette: Why? You think I should change it?”— Frankie Shaw, Bridgette Bird, Frankie Shaw, imdb.com
“I don’t need a birthday. ’Cause I buy myself all the presents I need....And because of my drinking, they’re often a surprise.”— Donald Glover, Ron Weiner, Tracy Jordan, Tracy Morgan, imdb.com
“I am not asking you this as the boss you love to undermine, but as the friend whose birthday you love to forget...”— Donald Glover, Liz Lemon, Tina Fey, imdb.com
“A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday. Dad: What? $6,244??? $5,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $3,782 for anyway?”— lambasoft, reddit.com
“I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother.. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.”— rumblefish65, reddit.com
“I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday, she said "get something that makes me look pretty, So I went out and got drunk.”— Mesoposty, reddit.com
“My Lesbian Neighbors got me a Rolex for my Birthday... ...I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch."”— Cryptikfox, reddit.com
“They're putting a woman on the $10 bill. And if they make it your grandma she won't even have to sign your birthday card.”— Stephen Colbert, twitter.com
“He will remember important events in your relationship. A good man will assign to memory your birthday, anniversary, etc., as well as things like your favorite perfume, favorite flowers, all the things that make you, you. He will want to have this information at hand in order to occasionally surpris…”— Morin Mizrachi, thoughtcatalog.com
“Also? Hugh Jackman? He can seriously get some. (It's my birthday I can say whatever crazy shit I want.)”— Mindy Kaling, twitter.com
“I'm traveling from Europe on my birthday so I've had a birthday for 40 hours.”— Mindy Kaling, twitter.com
“Only one more shopping day until my birthday. I think FedEx delivers on Sundays now. I love presents. No pressure. Just sayin'.”— Neil Patrick Harris, twitter.com