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Issa Dee

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All humor (16)Relationships (9)Dating (7)break ups (6)Sex (5)hook ups (4)joke (4)explicit (4)Rude (4)Sassy (4)Rap (4)Ho (4)swearing (4)Pop Culture (3)Snarky (3)

From “Insecure as F**k”

Issa: Why you assuming I like Drake? Daniel: Every black girl that went to college likes Drake. Issa: He just really gets us.

Drake Black Women Women Of Color Pop Culture College

Issa: I’m starting to resent him. Like I spent my entire 20’s with a guy I’m not even gonna end up with. Molly: I mean, well you’re still 29, you have one more year. Issa: Bitch, you’re right. I don’t have time for the bullshit anymore. Molly: What are you saying? Issa: I’m breaking up with him…

Resent Dating Relationships break ups humor

Black women aren’t bitter, they’re just tired of being expected to settle for less.

Black Women Women Of Color Bitter Tired settle

From “Messy as F**k”

Maybe I want to ask a nigga what he wants for breakfast and he replies, 'That pussy,' and he's talking about me, girl!

Sex breakfast Hook Up Sexy

Do you want your man or not? Do you know your plans or not? You gon' back home or not? You gon' claim your throne or not? Is you Khaleesi? Or that other bitch whose name I don't remember?

Khaleesi Game of Thrones Pop Culture TV Rap

Molly: You gotta fuck a lot of frogs to get a good frog. Issa: That’s not the saying. Or any saying.

Fuck Sex Frogs Prince Charming saying

From “Racist as F**k”

Ken: Why don’t more of them swim? Issa: Slavery.

Slavery Black Swim Children humor

From “Shady as F**k”

Molly: How did the kids find it in the first place? Issa: Daniel! He was talking about what a great rapper that I was and the kids must have Googled me. Stupid smart as fuck researching ass kids.

Rap kids Rapper Google The internet

From “Guilty as F**k”

I'm just saying why can't black men explore their sexuality without being labeled as gay or bi or whatever?

back men sexuality Labels LGBTQ gay

Molly: Chrissy Teigen has a dope-ass cookbook. Issa: Are you in the kitchen? Please get the fuck out.

explicit swearing kitchen Cooking chrissy teigen

From “Real as F**k”

Listen here, you gent, Columbus motherfucker. If you don't stay the fuck away... I don't know why I told you about this neighborhood because y'all take everything! Can we have anything?! Leave!

Columbus Race racism Gentrification Gent

Have you noticed, Molly, that the common denominator in all your ‘can’t find a man’ bullshit is you? Yeah, let’s do the nigga rundown, Molly. One minute he’s too thirsty, the next minute he’s too distant. The next he’s too gay. And then when you find someone you actually like, you ruin it by doing…

romance Relationships Dating explicit swearing

From “Broken as F**k”

Issa: Some other day, some shit went down — Kelli: Girl, did he hit you? Issa: What? No. Kelli: Okay, I like Lawrence, but I will go ape on that nigga, okay? Does he have a car? Issa: Kelli. Kelli: I'm gonna fuck that up first. Issa: He did not hit me. Okay? We're — we're just going through this,…

Relationships Abuse pregnant hit explicit

Tiffany: I taste stone fruit. Molly: And a little bit of pepper. Issa: I taste wine.

Fruit Pepper Wine Wine-Tasting Alcohol

From “Hella Great”

Issa: Can you teach me how to ho? Molly: Bitch, that's rude... and yes.

Friendship Dating Ho Advice hook ups

Molly: And I thought you said you didn't want him back. Issa: Bitch, of course I want my man back. What the fuck? I was lying.

Dating Relationships break ups lying Saving Face

I'm a liar, sweetie, I cheat on niggas, too. Probably shouldn't trust me or I'll hurt your feelings, boo. I don't wanna be here, but my ex won't take me back, so my broke ass is here, small talkin' over apps. I'm so dead inside, nigga, I cry every day. You should get the check and here's the tip —…

Rap Rapper Ex break ups Dating

Molly: One day I looked up and my dick meter was all the way on E. Issa: Join the club, bitch. Dick on E, bank account on E. Life on E.

Relatable Life dick Sex bank account

From “Hella Questions”

Guys, it's not about her. It's petty to judge her, and I don't want to be petty.

Petty Judgment Growth maturity mature

From “Hella Open”

Issa: Trying to fuck is hard. Molly: No it's not. It's like riding a bike. Issa: Yeah, I don't know how to do that either.

Sex Fuck hook ups bike humor

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