“I sent flowers, but you said you didn’t receive ‘em But you said you didn’t need them”— Rae Sremmurd, open.spotify.com
“Instead of thinking of the worst case scenario—that you’ll die alone in a house full of cats—just calmly remind yourself that he just wasn’t the right guy for you and that’s fine. The right guy for you is a guy who wants to be with you. He’s a guy who shows you, clearly and obviously, that he likes…”— Sabrina Alexis, thoughtcatalog.com
“I refuse to give up on this relationship. It's like launching missiles from a submarine. Both of us have to turn our keys.”— Billy Kimball, Dan O'Keeffe, Maura, Alex Kapp, imdb.com
“We couldn't carry on a conversation. I kept trying to picture her naked, she kept trying to not picture me naked.”— Jennifer Crittenden, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com
“Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.”— David Mandel, Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com
“Well, we were engaged to be married, uh, we bought the wedding invitations, and, uh, yada yada yada, I'm still single.”— Jill Franklyn, Peter Mehlman, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com
“If she can't find me, she can't break up with me.”— David Mandel, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com
“I can't be with someone who doesn't break up nicely. I mean, to me, that's one of the most important parts of a relationship.”— Spike Feresten, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com
“I found out he's a bad breaker-upper…you know when you break up, how you say things you don't mean? Well, he says the mean things you don't mean, but he means them.”— Spike Feresten, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com
“There must be something exciting about this guy if he can arouse that kind of passion.”— Spike Feresten, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com
“Well, I just want you to know I'm there for you. Course now I'm here for you, but when I'm not here for you, I'm there for you.”— Matt Selman, Peter Mehlman, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com
“You didn't have makeup sex? How could you not have makeup sex? I mean that's the best feature of the heavy relationship.”— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com
“It's very difficult. Few men have the constitution for it. That's why breakups take two or three tries. You gotta build up your immunity.”— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com
“You see those tears streaming down, you don't know what to do. It was like she was on fire and I was trying to put her out.”— Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com
“And you broke up with her 'cuz she beat you at chess? That's pretty sick.”— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com
“Kramer, you don't understand. He made the last contact between us. I had the upper hand in the post-breakup relationship. If he thinks that I said hi, then I lose the upper hand.”— Peter Mehlman, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com
“You're giving me the ‘it's not you, it's me’ routine? I invented ‘it's not you, it's me.’ Nobody tells me it's them not me; if it's anybody, it's me.”— Carol Leifer, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com
“Y’know, the funny thing is, somehow I find her more appealing now. It's like if I knew she was a lesbian when we went out, I never would've broken up with her.”— Larry David, Peter Mehlman, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com
“A preemptive breakup. This is an incredible idea. I got nothing to lose. We either break up, which she would do anyway, but at least I go out with some dignity. Completely turn the tables. It's absolutely brilliant.”— Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com
“I must have been out of my mind. Look at you. Why don't you do something with your life? Sit around here all day, you contribute nothing to society. You're just taking up space. How could I be with someone like you? Couldn't respect myself.”— Larry David, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com