“Bob: Uh, when's the last time you acted? Gwen: An hour ago, when you walked in the door. How'd I do?”— Debora Cahn, Gwen Verdon, Michelle Williams, imdb.com
“Josh: I'm almost definitely gonna be Young Australian of the Year for this. Tom: More like Young Dick-face of the Year.”— Josh Thomas, Tom, Thomas Ward, imdb.com
“Joe Gillis: I didn't know you were planning a comeback. Norma Desmond: I hate that word. It's a return, a return to the millions of people who have never forgiven me for deserting the screen.”— Charles Brackett, Billy Wilder, D.M. Marshman Jr., Norma Desmond, Gloria Swanson, imdb.com
“You can't come back with a comeback after eight seconds. You got three seconds. Five, tops. It's called a quip, not a sloooowwwwp.”— Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly, Sean Moynihan, Mauricio, Jason Alexander, imdb.com
“Libby: What’s your problem, Freak? Hoping Santa will give you a personality this year? Sabrina: And a crossbow!”— Charlie Tercek, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com
“Major General Felts: I assume you realize this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated on my base! Shawn: Is there another type of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?”— Andy Berman, Shawn Spencer, James Roday, imdb.com
“[after Steve tells his friends that he was making out with a chick that is 80] Snot: Dude, she's got wrinkles! Steve: So do raisins. But those taste pretty sweet.”— Steve Hely, Steve Smith (voice), Scott Grimes, imdb.com
“Chuckie: [after Phil and Lil knock his rock collection on the ground] Look! Now they're all on the ground! Phil: [whispered to Lil] Didn't they *used* to be on the ground?”— Melody Fox, Richard Gitelson, Chuckie Finster (voice), Nancy Cartwright, imdb.com
“Liz: Why are you wearing a tux? Jack: It’s after 6. What am I, a farmer?”— Tina Fey, Jack Burditt, Jack Donaghy, Alec Baldwin, imdb.com
“Luke: I'm not in the market for a sidekick. Misty: Who says you're not my sidekick? Luke: Me? It's my show.”— Cheo Hodari Coker, Luke Cage, Mike Colter, imdb.com
“Allison: Maybe you should stop pretending to suck his dick just for his benefit. Lydia: Trust me, I do plenty of sucking of his dick just for his benefit.”— Jeff Davis, Lydia Martin, Holland Roden, imdb.com
“Olivia: I'm apolitical you know that. Cyrus: Is your vagina apolitical?”— Heather Mitchell, Shonda Rhimes, Cyrus Beene, Jeff Perry, imdb.com
“J.D.: Look, Elliot, I've got my own problems. I don't have time to deal with your little sex pickle. Dr. Kelso: Really? She spent two years dealing with yours.”— Angela Nissel, Bob Kelso, Ken Jenkins, imdb.com
“Dr. Cox: Newbie, do you want me to give my "things I don't care about" speech again? Because I've updated it to include all white guys who add -izzle to anything. J.D.: I agrizzle, my nizzle.”— Eric Weinberg, John 'J.D.' Dorian, Zach Braff, imdb.com
“If we lose, I want all of us to be unhappy, no one to have any fun, and expect only what is reserved for losers but take it with dignity while planning to come back.”— Bear Bryant, chattanoogan.com
“I am more powerful than I am damaged and I will rise from any abyss you drown me in.”— Nikita Gill, shopcatalog.com