“I saw the way your friend Mauricio looked at me; I thought he was going to shoot me with a tranquilizer gun and tag my ear.”Tagged: Lust, Horny, Gawking, tranquilizer gun
“Rosemary: Is that a Member's Only jacket? Mauricio: Yes. Rosemary: So what are you, the last member?”Tagged: member's only, Sick Burns
“Tony Robbins: Haven't you ever heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Mauricio: Have you heard the song 'Who Let The Dogs Out'?”Tagged: who let the dogs out?, Beauty is the in the eye of the beholder
“Hey Hal, come look at this turd! It looks like Klinger from M.A.S.H.!”Tagged: turd, Corporal Max Klinger, M.A.S.H., Gross
“You can't come back with a comeback after eight seconds. You got three seconds. Five, tops. It's called a quip, not a sloooowwwwp.”Tagged: Comeback, Quip
“[after introducing his overweight girlfriend to Mauricio] Hal: Does she take the cake, or what? Mauricio: She takes the whole bakery, Hal.”Tagged: Fat-Shaming, take the cake
“Hal: So what do you weigh, like 110? 115? Rosemary: [sarcastically] Which one of my butt cheeks are you talking about?”Tagged: Fat-Shaming
“[after Rosemary's weight crushed a chair] Hal: Jesus Christ! What the hell's wrong with this chair? What's this shit made out of, anyway? Restaurant Manager: Uhh... Steel.”Tagged: Fat-Shaming
“[Hal is going to make his move on some unattractive girls] Hal: I'm going for the one in the middle. You can have your pick of the other two. Mauricio: So you get the hyena, and I have to choose between the hippo and the giraffe?”Tagged: Fat-Shaming, Thin-Shaming, Objectification
“Inner beauty's the easiest thing in the world to see when you're looking for it....The brain sees what the heart wants it to feel.”Tagged: inner beauty, Brain, heart
“Tony Robbins: Hal, don't you think you're being a bit shallow here in the way you look at women? Hal: Well, no! You know, I'd like her to be into culture and shit, too. Tony Robbins: Ok Hal, hypothetical situation; Which do you prefer, a girlfriend missing one breast or half a brain? Hal: Hmmm,…”Tagged: Fat-Shaming, shallow, Objectification