I saw the way your friend Mauricio looked at me; I thought he was going to shoot me with a tranquilizer gun and tag my ear.
Catalog
Sean Moynihan
You had me at 'get lost.'
Rosemary: Is that a Member's Only jacket? Mauricio: Yes. Rosemary: So what are you, the last member?
Tony Robbins: Haven't you ever heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Mauricio: Have you heard the song 'Who Let The Dogs Out'?
Hey Hal, come look at this turd! It looks like Klinger from M.A.S.H.!
You can't come back with a comeback after eight seconds. You got three seconds. Five, tops. It's called a quip, not a sloooowwwwp.
[after introducing his overweight girlfriend to Mauricio] Hal: Does she take the cake, or what? Mauricio: She takes the whole bakery, Hal.
Hal: So what do you weigh, like 110? 115? Rosemary: [sarcastically] Which one of my butt cheeks are you talking about?
[after Rosemary's weight crushed a chair] Hal: Jesus Christ! What the hell's wrong with this chair? What's this shit made out of, anyway? Restaurant Manager: Uhh... Steel.
[Hal is going to make his move on some unattractive girls] Hal: I'm going for the one in the middle. You can have your pick of the other two. Mauricio: So you get the hyena, and I have to choose between the hippo and the giraffe?
Inner beauty's the easiest thing in the world to see when you're looking for it....The brain sees what the heart wants it to feel.
Tony Robbins: Hal, don't you think you're being a bit shallow here in the way you look at women? Hal: Well, no! You know, I'd like her to be into culture and shit, too. Tony Robbins: Ok Hal, hypothetical situation; Which do you prefer, a girlfriend missing one breast or half a brain? Hal: Hmmm,…