“Oscar Martinez: Don't you want to see the baby? Dwight Schrute: Psh! Why? I know what Angela and the senator look like. I can mash that up in my head right now.”— Aaron Shure, Dwight Schrute, Rainn Wilson, imdb.com
“Ryan Howard: I'd like to make a toast: to the troops. All the troops. Both sides. Party guest: That's weird.”— Justin Spitzer, Ryan Howard, B.J. Novak,, imdb.com
“Robert California: That is very cold. Erin Hannon: Yea, that is old. I asked if you wanted a cold beverage, and you said coffee.”— Paul Lieberstein, Erin Hannon, Ellie Kemper, imdb.com
“My future isn't going to be determined by seven little white lotto balls. It's going to be determined by two big black balls.”— Justin Spitzer, Darryl Philbin, Craig Robinson, imdb.com
“I got away with everything under the last boss and it wasn't good for me. So I want guidance. I want leadership. Lead me... when I'm in the mood to be led.”— Paul Lieberstein, Ryan Howard, B.J. Novak,, imdb.com
“Holly Flax: Okay, look, we can't fire someone because we don't like him. Ryan Howard: Right. This isn't the U.S. government. Kelly Kapoor: What are you referencing? Ryan Howard: Everything. Everything.”— Greg Daniels, Ryan Howard, B.J. Novak,, imdb.com
“Michael is leaving. And apparently they've already hired a new manager. And we're meeting him today. It's a lot to process. Paperwork-wise.”— Daniel Chun, Oscar Martinez, Oscar Nunez, imdb.com
“My perfect Valentine's day? I'm at home, three cell phones in front of me, fielding desperate calls from people who want to buy one of the fifty restaurant reservations I made over six months ago.”— Randall Einhorn, Dwight Schrute, Rainn Wilson, imdb.com
“Holly is ruining Michael's life. He thinks she is so special, and she's so not. Her personality is like a 3. Her sense of humor is a 2. Her ears are like a 7 and a 4. Add it all up and what do you get? 16. And he treats her like she's a perfect 40. It's nuts.”— Brent Forrester, Erin Hannon, Ellie Kemper, imdb.com
“Pam Beesly: Here's the story, that guy in there is Jim's childhood friend, Tom. Jim Halpert: Tom Matoshkin, one of my best buddies, actually. Pam Beesly: And when they were both in the third grade, Jim was placed in the top reading group. Jim Halpert: It was blue group, so it was second from the top…”— Steve Hely, Jim Halpert, John Krasinski, imdb.com
“Pam Beesly: Hey, Dwight. I'm collecting resolution cards. Dwight Schrute: Not doing that. Pam Beesly: Why not? Dwight Schrute: I've achieved plenty, and there's no better than the best.”— Greg Daniels, Dwight Schrute, Rainn Wilson, imdb.com
“Ultimatums are key. Basically nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.”— Mindy Kaling, Kelly Kapoor, Mindy Kaling, imdb.com
“I have been trying to get on jury duty every year since I was 18 years old. To get and go sit in an air-conditioned room, downtown, judging people, while my lunch was paid for. That is the life.”— Mindy Kaling, Stanley Hudson, Leslie David Baker, imdb.com
“The world sends people your way. Ryan came to me through a temp agency. Andy was transferred here. No idea where Creed came from. The point is, you just have to play with the cards that you're dealt. Jim, that guy is an Ace. Dwight is my King up my sleeve. Phyllis is my Old Maid. Oscar is my Queen.…”— Aaron Shure, Michael Scott, Steve Carell, imdb.com
“Yes, I have a dream, and it's not some MLK dream for equality. I want to own a decommissioned lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live there. And there's a button that I can press, and launch that lighthouse into space.”— Aaron Shure, Stanley Hudson, Leslie David Baker, imdb.com
“If you break that girl's heart, I will kill you. That's just a figure of speech. But seriously, if you break that girl's heart, I will literally kill you and your entire family.”— Jon Vitti, Michael Scott, Steve Carell, imdb.com
“Pam Beesly: Cece's getting christened today. Jim Halpert: Big day. Pam Beesly: Everyone from work is here. We weren't planning on that. Jim Halpert: Nope.”— Peter Ocko, Pam Halpert, Jenna Fischer, imdb.com
“Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug, and didn't seem to realize that it wasn't his hot coffee. So the question has to be asked, is there no limit to what he won't notice?”— Justin Spitzer, Jim Halpert, John Krasinski, imdb.com
“Hi Holly, it's Michael. I just wanted to call and let you know that I was thinking about what you said, it's just... you know? It's weird, today I ended up seeing a lot of the women that I used to date, and in my mind they were all great, and then when I actually saw them it was mostly a freak show.…”— Paul Lieberstein, Michael Scott, Steve Carell, imdb.com