Quotes tagged ‘Pregnancy’

“Claire: It's alright. It is possible to deliver a breach baby. I may have to reach inside and guide it out. Jenny: Alright. But, you'll be fetching me a good stiff dram before we start. Claire: In that case, the baby will likely be drunk, too. Jenny: Then he'll come into the world a true Scot.”

— Toni Graphia, imdb.com

“Charlie, honey, you gotta quit treating me like I'm some puny little heifer, honey, just 'cause I'm the teensiest littlest bit pregnant. Now, listen, I come from very hardy stock. A half hour before my grandmother birthed her thirteenth young'un, she was unloading 100-pound bags of fertilizer off th…”

— Ann Marcus, Jerry Adelman, Loretta Haggers, Mary Kay Place, imdb.com

“Nurse: When was the fetus conceived? Mrs. Cartman: Eight years ago. Nurse: So that would make the fetus— Mrs. Cartman: Eight years old. Nurse: That places you in what we call the fortieth trimester.”

— David A. Goodman, Trey Parker, Ms. Cartman, Mary Kay Bergman, imdb.com

“I've never wanted kids... don't have the time, don't have the uterus.”

— Ryan Murphy, imdb.com

“Your wife is going to be pushing a watermelon out of her boy-howdy in five months! She doesn't need nice!”

— Brad Falchuk, Kendra Giardi, Jennifer Aspen, imdb.com

“Hayley: Where did you get a pregnancy test with sound effects? Jeff: At Spencer's Gifts.”

— Kathryn Borel, Sam Brenner, Teresa Hsiao, Jeff Fischer (Voice), Jeff Fischer, imdb.com

“Could this really be true? Could the basic premise of five torturous, expensive, and sad years’ worth of IVF—the very cornerstone of Western medical reproductive orthodoxy—be wrong? Could I still have good eggs?”

— Elizabeth Katkin, marieclaire.com

“J.D.: A baby-moon is a vacation that couples take just before your baby comes out of your special area. And the resort I found is amazing; they have horseback riding, and jet-skiing... Elliot: Oh, do they also have any punching each other in the stomach contests? Because that's another thing I can't…”

— Leila Strachan, John 'J.D.' Dorian, Zach Braff, imdb.com

“Doctor: Hoping for a boy or a girl? Guy: Was hoping to pull out, but here we fucking are.”

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

“The message behind loving your body is a well-intended one, but it’s not for everyone.”

— De Elizabeth, editsfrommotherhood.com

“On the other side of risking foolishness, you’ll find art, relief, friendship, intimacy. Never has conversation between women—gossip, you might call it, or maybe literature—felt more like salvation.”

— Meaghan O'Connell, readitforward.com

“A boy the size of a ten-pound bowling ball is working its way out of my body. Can you get me something for that? Can you get me a new vagina?”

— Shonda Rhimes, Dr. Miranda Bailey, Chandra Wilson, imdb.com

“The weight a woman gains during pregnancy, known as gestational weight gain (GWG), has important health implications for both mother and child.”

— Nicholas P. Deputy, cdc.gov

“Pack on way too many pounds and you increase your chances of gestational diabetes, hypertension and complications during labor and delivery (not to mention you’ll more likely find yourself with stretch marks plus extra pounds to shed once you've delivered).”

— What To Expect When You're Expecting, whattoexpect.com

“Conventional wisdom says that you should gain 1-5 pounds in the first trimester and 1 pound per week for the rest of the pregnancy. However, few women follow this pattern exactly, so don’t stress out about it.”

— Mama Natural, mamanatural.com

“In reality, pregnancy medical care seemed to be one long list of rules.”

— Emily Oster, theatlantic.com

“What’s the difference between a nine-month-pregnant woman and a supermodel? Nothing—if the pregnant woman’s partner knows what’s good for them.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“God impregnated a woman without her consent. Isn’t that kind of worse than rape?”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“If anyone still wants to sleep with me, then they're just gonna have to settle, I guess.”

— Liz Tigelaar, Valerie, Michaela Watkins, imdb.com

“It's like I'm just this overactive, hormonal baby capsule that hasn't had sex in 12 days.”

— Molly Smith Metzler, Alyssa, Cristen Coppen, imdb.com