Quotes tagged ‘Pun’

“Hold on, are you a sheep named Usher? Because you got it, you got it 'baaahd.'”

— Nick Kroll, Emmy the Lovebug (voice), Aidy Bryant, imdb.com

“You can't handle the Tooth! And that's the Tooth, the whole Tooth and nothing but the Tooth! I pledge allegiance to the Tooth.”

— Randi Mayem Singer, Lowell Ganz, Babaloo Mandel, Jennifer Ventimilia, Joshua Sternin, Jim Piddock, Derek Thompson / Tooth Fairy, Dwayne Johnson, imdb.com

“Ringo: Hey, I wonder what'll happen if I pull this lever. Old Fred: Oh, you mustn't do that now. Ringo: Can't help it. I'm a born 'Liver-pooler.'”

— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Himself, Ringo Starr, imdb.com

“I trust you had a pleasant 'fright'!”

— Richard Maibaum, Michael G. Wilson, Blofeld, John Hollis, imdb.com

“Kirsten: She looks good. Her spirits are high. Caleb: She's high? Kirsten: No, her spirit. Her mood. She's up. Caleb: So, she's on uppers?”

— Erica Messer, Debra J. Fisher, Kirsten Cohen, Kelly Rowan, imdb.com

“Sabrina: Hey, Roxie, what's your family doing for Christmas? Roxie: The usual. We put up an aluminum tree, get take-out from Taco Bell, and then I watch my Dad and step-mom exchange cartons of Winston Lights. Morgan: Your family exchanges cigarettes? Roxie: Hey, it's just not Christmas without a vis…”

— Jon Vandergriff, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

“Zelda: So, I hear things are heating up between you and Derek. Sabrina: Well, let's just say we could melt a glacier.”

— Barry Vigon, Tom Walla, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

“Wait a minute. How are you gonna quit magic? Go to Witch Watchers?”

— Adam Hamburger, David Hamburger, Harvey Kinkle, Nate Richert, imdb.com

“So, you're in the nuclear biz? I once dated a guy named Adam, but then we split!”

— Andrew Borakove, Bill Rosenthal, Morgan Cavanaugh, Elisa Donovan, imdb.com

“Knock! Knock! Anybody homo?”

— Bill Wrubel, imdb.com

“'Mota' spelled backwards is 'atom'...and that's where he hit it, right at 'im'!”

— Harry Caray, en.wikipedia.org

“Phoebe: Hey, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J'. Coincidence? Chandler: Hey, that's 'joincidence' with a 'C'.”

— Jeff Astroff, Mike Sikowitz, Phoebe Buffay, Lisa Kudrow, imdb.com

“Kate Callahan: So let me get this straight: we're saying that there is a serial killer inside the cult? David Rossi: Talk about a needle in a needle stack!”

— Breen Frazier, imdb.com

“The internet is a great way to get on the net.”

— Bob Dole, amazon.com

“How does NASA organize a party? They planet.”

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

“I may not be perfect, but Jesus thinks I’m to die for.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.”

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

“"I gotta have a swamp too. Gotta have a swamp. Either a Swamp, our a marsh full of marshmallows. MARSHmallows"”

— Dane Cook, genius.com

“What did one penny say to the other? "Money puns are priceless"”

— False1512, reddit.com

“When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.”

— The_pinto_mobile, reddit.com