Quotes tagged ‘Sex’

“Women are drawn to you. They would give anything to be possessed by you.”

— Bruce Kirschbaum, Older Priest, Kay E. Kuter, imdb.com

“Yeah, Jerry, I’m telling you I have this power. And I have no control over it.”

— Bruce Kirschbaum, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

“You don't eat Oreos? The way you break them open? You're practically having sex with them.”

— Larry David, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

“Look, Jerry, we have to have sex to save the friendship.”

— Lawrence H. Levy, Larry David, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com

“Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.”

— Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“It's all your fault! You and Elaine! All that orgasm talk. She did have an orgasm, she didn't have an orgasm. Orgasm this, orgasm that. I got so focused on it. I started to panic and boom, I lost it. I tried everything, I was talking to him: 'Please wake up, do something.'”

— Lawrence H. Levy, Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“You know, nobody knows what to do. You just close your eyes and you hope for the best. I really think they're happy if you just make an effort.”

— Lawrence H. Levy, Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

“The female orgasm is kinda like the bat cave. A very few people know where it is and if you're lucky enough to see it you probably don't know how you got there and you can't find you way back after you left. You know there are two types of female orgasm: the real and the fake. And I'll tell you righ…”

— Lawrence H. Levy, Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

“This whole sex thing is totally overrated. Now, here's the one thing you've gotta be ready for is how the man changes into a completely different person five seconds after it's over. I mean, something happens to their personality; it's really quite astounding. It's like they committed a crime and th…”

— Peter Mehlman, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com

“What was it like having sex with Adolf Hitler? What do you wear in a bunker? What did her parents think of Hitler as a potential son-in-law? I mean, it could just go on and on.”

— Larry Charles, Chelsea, Debi A. Monahan, imdb.com

“I left three messages. I can't believe this woman. She has sex with me, leaves ten minutes later, then I never hear from her again. What kind of a person does this? I mean, she used me. I feel cheap and violated.”

— Elaine Pope, Larry Charles, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“So we started drinking, and I'll tell you I don't know if it was the alcohol or the ammonia, but the next think I knew she was mopping the floor with me.”

— Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“I need you back because of what you let me feel by allowing me to make you feel something that you don't want to feel.”

— Mike O'Malley, Sheila Jackson, Joan Cusack, imdb.com

“Don't let your emotions completely obscure the barbaric roots of the sexual act. Don't lose touch with the seeds of our animal nature.”

— Mike O'Malley, Frank Gallagher, William H. Macy, imdb.com

“Destroying? That's what I used to call it: destroying pussy.”

— Mike O'Malley, Jody Silverman, Zach McGowan, imdb.com

“I started to look at sex like a fight, and my weapon was my cock.”

— Mike O'Malley, Jody Silverman, Zach McGowan, imdb.com

“What is it about sex that just disrupts everything? Is it the touching? Is it the nudity?”

— Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“That's why I don't have cable in my house. Because of that naked station. If I had that in my house, I would never turn it off. I wouldn't sleep, I wouldn't eat. Eventually, firemen would have to break through the door, they'd find me sitting there in my pajamas with drool coming down my face.”

— Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“I have a vague recollection of doing something with someone, but it was a long, long time ago.”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

“I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex and floor seats for every sporting event in Madison Square Garden. So please, a little respect. For I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots!”

— Peter Mehlman, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com