“Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say. It could say, 'Ross Geller, Good at Marriage!' Y'know? Mine's gonna say, 'Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.'”— Phoebe Buffay, amazon.comTagged: Funny, humor, Tombstones, Death
“Oh my God. I've become my father. I've been trying so hard not to become my mother, I didn't see this coming.”— Rachel Green, amazon.comTagged: Rachel, Funny, humor, Parenting, Family
“Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that's ours!”— Monica Geller, amazon.comTagged: Love, Sex, Faking it, Funny
“Up until I was 25 I thought the response to 'I love you' was 'oh crap.'”— Chandler Bing, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Sarcasm, Jokes, I Love You
“Reporter: 'I like that. What’s your name?' Phoebe: 'Phoebe. That’s, P, as in Phoebe, H, as in hoebe, O as in oebe, E, as in ebe, B, as in bebe, and E as in… ‘Ello there mate.'”— Phoebe Buffay, amazon.comTagged: Funny, humor, Names
“Phoebe: 'You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason.' Chandler: 'Maureen Rosilla.' Ross: ''Cause she doesn’t hate Yanni’ is not a real reason.'”— Chandler Bing, Ross Geller, Phoebe Buffay, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Sarcasm, Jokes, Breakups, Dating
“I grew up in a house with Monica, okay. If you didn’t eat fast, you didn’t eat.”— Ross Geller, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Friends, Family, Sisters, eating
“Monica: 'Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds.' Chandler: 'Uh, so how many cameras are actually on you?'”— Chandler Bing, Monica Geller, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Sarcasm, Jokes, Growing Up, Cameras
“I say more dumb things before 9am than most people say all day.”— Chandler Bing, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Sarcasm, Jokes, Dumb Things, Morning
“Rachel: ‘You idiot!’ Chandler: ‘I’m sure you’re right, but why?’”— Chandler Bing, Rachel Green, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Sarcasm, Jokes, Idiot
“Joey: ‘Monica, relax. Go get a beer.’ Monica: ‘I don’t want a beer.’ Joey: ‘Who said it was for you?’”— Monica Geller, Joey Tribbiani, amazon.comTagged: Funny, relax, Beer
“It’s a Sunday. I don’t move on Sundays.”— Chandler Bing, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Sarcasm, Jokes, Morning, Sundays
“‘Phoebe, do you want to help out?’ Phoebe: ‘Oh I wish I could but I don’t want to.’”— Phoebe Buffay, amazon.comTagged: Funny, humor, Helping Out, Lazy
“‘Do you have a plan?’ Phoebe: ‘I don’t even have a ‘pla.’'”— Phoebe Buffay, amazon.comTagged: Funny, humor, Lazy, plans
“Joey: ‘What are we doing?’ Chandler: ‘Wasting our lives.’ Joey: ‘I meant for lunch.’”— Chandler Bing, Joey Tribbiani, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Sarcasm, Jokes, Wasting Lives
“But today, it’s like there’s rock bottom, then 50 feet of crap, then me.”— Rachel Green, amazon.comTagged: Rachel, Funny, humor, Bad Luck, Bad Day
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did my back hurt your knife?”— Rachel Green, amazon.comTagged: Rachel, Funny, humor, Bad Luck, Bad Day
“I’M HOPELESS AND AWKWARD AND DESPERATE FOR LOVE.”— Chandler Bing, amazon.comTagged: Funny, Sarcasm, Jokes, hopeless, awkward
“Rachel: ‘Go tell him he’s cute, what’s the worst that could happen?’ Monica: ‘He could hear me.’”— Rachel Green, Monica Geller, amazon.comTagged: Rachel, Funny, humor, Dating, Relationship