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I ain't better than shit, Jack

— Shawn Pearlman, Morty Smith, Justin Roiland, Edge of Tomorty

Sassy better

Morty, you know outer space is up right?

— Shawn Pearlman, Rick Sanchez, Justin Roiland, Edge of Tomorty

Outer Space Space Sassy

Where's my Emmy for loving titties too much?

— Billy Eichner, Do Gay People Care About John Oliver? with John Oliver!

Emmy award Breast

A lot of sexual chemistry here that I enjoy.

— Billy Eichner, Episode 2

Sexual Chemistry tension tense

You know, I miss getting lost.

— Chuck Lorre, Sandy Kominsky, Michael Douglas, Chapter 1

Miss lost wander

Men cast their wives and girlfriends to play best friend, lover, career advisor, stylist, social secretary, emotional cheerleader, mom—to him, their future kids, or both—and eventually, on-call therapist minus the $200/hour fee), this form of emotional gold digging is not only detrimental to men, it…

— Melanie Hamlett, Men Have No Friends and Women Bear the Burden

Friendship Men Women Relationships Dating

The problem isn’t drinking culture, it’s culture, period.

— Amanda Shapiro, The Problem Isn’t Drinking Culture, It’s Just Culture.

Wine Drinking Alcohol Culture Drinking Culture

It’s 2019 and Lizzo is in power, the most important opinion of my appearance is my own.

— Shani Silver, Am I Single Because Of How I Look?

Single Being Single looks Appearance

Am I that pigeon, cradling my bread snack in the crook of my neck because this train is too crowded to unpin my hands from my sides?

— Amanda Arnold, Claire Lampen, Which Garbage Animal Are You?

LOL Trash Animals

Marveling at the sight of a tree changing color and shedding its leaves is like delightedly watching a puppy barely escape drowning, ya fuckin’ weirdo.

— Mike Rampton, Five Lies You’ve Been Told About Fall

Fall Autumn

Honey Boy doesn’t necessarily offer absolution — nor does LaBeouf seem to be seeking it — but it does something better and more necessary: It explains how he got here and how he’s attempting to fix it. It’s a hard lesson for any man to learn, and an even harder narrative to deliver.

— Scaachi Koul, Shia LaBeouf’s New Movie Puts His Whole Career In Perspective

Honey Boy film Apologies Redemption Shia LaBeaouf

You have gentrified a struggle meal.

— Kalen Allen, Kalen Reacts and Recreates Struggle Meal Recipes

LOL food Recipes Struggle Meal

I have one fillet left and I’m not sick of salmon, my apartment smells like my favorite Cider Lane candle from Bath and Body Works, and I’m already thinking about how I’ll add salmon into my weeknight dinner lineup next week. Join me, won’t you?

— Alyse Whitney, This Crispy Skin Salmon Is All I Want to Eat Right Now

salmon Yum food Cooking

I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I've tried the entire Glossier line, but since there's a location in L.A., it was impossible for me not to! This list was incredibly difficult to narrow down to 5 products, but these are the favorites that I use daily.

— Katie Rubery, Kelly and Katie Are Obsessed with Glossier

Glossier skincare Makeup beauty

People have died over them.

— David Seymour, I TESTED Bon Appétit's BEST Chicken Sandwich VS Popeye's Spicy Chicken Sandwich

Bon Appetit Chicken Sandwich Popeye's Cooking

Cancel me if you must, but please, I’m begging you…wash your hands after you do it.

— Harron Walker, I Hate to Be Controversial, but Wash Your Hands

LOL Wash Your Hands

How to read her coldness: She is preoccupied. She is unhappy. She is unhappy with you. You did something and now she’s unhappy, and you need to find out what it is so she will stop being unhappy. You talk to her. You are clear. You think you are clear. You say what you are thinking and you say it af…

— Carmen Maria Machado, In The Dream House

Abuse Emotional Abuse Psychological Abuse Toxic Relationships

Hi and welcome to my emotional food journey.

— Chrissy Stockton, How To Stop Binge Eating

Binge Eating Mental Health

With the changes, users will still be able to see who likes their photos and videos — but no one else will.

— Alejandra Salazar, Instagram Likes Will Start Disappearing Sooner Than You Think

Instagram likes Social Media

Capt. Hernandez said the victim was lucky to have survived her ordeal.

— David Mack, A Dad And His Daughter Allegedly Kidnapped And Raped A Woman, Before Dumping Her In The Desert

true crime Kidnapping

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