I don't care if any of you are famous as long as you are happy.
— Chris Kelly, Sarah Schneider, Pat Dubek, Molly Shannon, Pilot
I don't care if any of you are famous as long as you are happy.
— Chris Kelly, Sarah Schneider, Pat Dubek, Molly Shannon, Pilot
I'm free to be me, which rhymed. I'm going to be a rapper, rap critic.
— Sarah Schneider, Chris Kelly, Brooke Dubek, Heléne Yorke, Pilot
I actually came up with three new ideas for shoes today. One: laces at the bottom. Two: shoes, but invisible. Three: edible shoes.
I think he is bisexual, because it's not 2010 anymore. Those people are real now. They exist.
— Sarah Schneider, Chris Kelly, Cary Dubek, Drew Tarver, Pilot
Jeff: You know how to see yourself out? Brooke Dubek: Yeah, I just open the door, and I walk out.
— Sarah Schneider, Chris Kelly, Brooke Dubek, Heléne Yorke, Pilot
He still watches 'Survivor,' which is like violently straight.
— Sarah Schneider, Chris Kelly, Cary Dubek, Drew Tarver, Pilot
We're both busy, you with work, and me with my quest to chase dreams.
— Chris Kelly, Sarah Schneider, Brooke Dubek, Heléne Yorke, Pilot
I don't know how you still watch this show. I meant there's too many close-ups of feet with bug bites.
— Sarah Schneider, Chris Kelly, Cary Dubek, Drew Tarver, Pilot
Maybe I can meet you at the baggage carousel bathroom, and kiss you on the lips, your, uh, private lips.
They bumped Kerry Washington? What is happening?
— Sarah Schneider, Chris Kelly, Cary Dubek, Drew Tarver, Pilot
Like, the world is my oyster.
— Sarah Schneider, Chris Kelly, Brooke Dubek, Heléne Yorke, Pilot
Co-Worker: Lance was so hot. Brooke Dubek: When he was 25, but now he's 30. And he still says 'Damn, Daniel.'
— Sarah Schneider, Chris Kelly, Brooke Dubek, Heléne Yorke, Pilot
Pat Dubek: We're two moms with a lot of things in common. Cary Dubek: Yeah you both have kids.
— Chris Kelly, Sarah Schneider, Cary Dubek, Drew Tarver, Pilot
We all have very clean buttholes.
— Chris Kelly, Sarah Schneider, Cary Dubek, Drew Tarver, Pilot
I have seen one dick in four years. This summer I'm going to see 50 dicks.
— Chris Kelly, Sarah Schneider, Brooke Dubek, Heléne Yorke, Pilot
We love that suit and those heavy shoes.
— Chris Kelly, Sarah Schneider, Cary Dubek, Drew Tarver, Pilot
You gotta live life to the fullest, 'cause you never know when it's all gonna be over, so you've just got to chase dreams.
— Chris Kelly, Sarah Schneider, Chase Dubek, Case Walker, Pilot
Hi, I'm Cary Dubek, and I'm reading for the role of 'Man at Party Who Smells Fart.'
— Chris Kelly, Sarah Schneider, Cary Dubek, Drew Tarver, Pilot
You are going to hate yourself for not having this experience.
I'm so scared all the time, and I don't want to be scared.
— Alex Ebel, Maggie Bandur, Maria Salazar, María Gabriela de Faría, Stigmata Martyr
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