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Dan Guterman

14 quotesTelevision Producer · United States Of America · Male

Dan Guterman is an American television writer and producer. He is best known for being a writer for The Onion between 1999 and 2010. He has also worked on The Colbert Report, Community, and Rick and Morty. Guterman received an Emmy in 2013 for his work on The Colbert Report. [1] and an Annie Award in 2018 for Outstanding Achievement, Writing (The Ricklantis Mixup) . 2Life and career Born in Brazil, Guterman became interested in comedy after watching Saturday Night Live and Kids in the Hall when he moved to Montreal at age 7 —shows that, he said, "genuinely frightened me," as comedy in Brazil was mostly lighthearted in tone. Having become a writer himself, Guterman later described his profession in writing comedy by saying, "You’re doing this very creative, often very personal thing, but you’re expected to produce in this totally noncreative way. My job is to churn out comedy, which is this intangible and temperamental thing, but at the rate and consistency of an assembly-line worker." After establishing his television writing presence as a writer on The Colbert Report and receiving an Emmy, Guterman began work with Dan Harmon on Community for its fifth season. This relationship continued, and in 2015 Guterman went on to write for both the sixth and second seasons of Community and Rick and Morty, respectively. He then continued work writing for Rick and Morty's third season, assisting with the next installment following the anthology-style "Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate." He co-wrote "Morty's Mind Blowers," which is referenced within the episode through Rick Sanchez's dialogue as an "Interdimensional Cable" replacemen

All penis (3)teenager (2)defensive (1)planet (1)Twins (1)Mermaid (1)Vibe (1)Instructions (1)Nature (1)Siblings (1)Species (1)gods (1)Extra-Steps (1)Thanksgiving (1)Politics (1)

From “The Ricks Must Be Crazy”

You guys, are the fucking worst! Your gods are a lie! Fuck you, fuck nature and fuck trees!

I masturbated to an extra curvy piece of driftwood the other day!

masturbate Driftwood teenager

You guys, are the fucking worst! Your gods are a lie! Fuck you, fuck nature and fuck trees!

Lies Nature gods Trees Rage

They named a holiday after me. Ricksgiving. They teach kids about me in school!

Thanksgiving School holiday Teaching

Morty, you gotta flip 'em off. I told them it means 'peace among worlds.' How hilarious is that!

Middle Finger Peace Among Words Funny

Wait for the ramp, Morty. They love the slow ramp. It really gets their dicks hard

Ramp Slow Ramp Dicks Dicks Hard

Summer: You know you're kind of a dick, right? Rick's Computer: My function is to 'keep Summer safe', not 'keep Summer being, like, totally stoked about, like, the general vibe, and stuff'. That's you, that's how you talk.

function Instructions teenager talk Vibe

Morty: You have a whole planet... sitting around making your power for you?! That's slavery! Rick: It's society! They work for each other, Morty. They pay each other, they buy houses, they get married and make children that replace them when they get too old to make power. Morty: That just sounds…

Slavery planet Laid Sassy Extra-Steps

From “Interdimensional Cable 2”

Yes, I will! That's right, assholes! Take my penis. Take it all!! And tell Shrimply Pibbles that when the galaxy came calling, Jerry Smith from Earth didn't flinch!

penis galaxy Flinch Donor

Pichael Thompson: And then they found out I was attached along for the ride and they said, 'Ah, shit. Well, just fuck it, call him Pichael.' Michael Thompson: [throws papers at Pichael's face] Fuck you, Pichael! You're a fucking piece of shit!

Twins Siblings Conflict Conjoined

Shrimply Pibbles: I've dwelt among the humans. Their entire culture is built around their penises. It's funny to say they are small. It's funny to say they are big. I've been at parties where humans held bottles, pencils, thermoses in front of themselves and called out, 'Hey, look at me. I'm Mr.…

Dick Jokes Genocide Species defensive penis

Ambassador: Mr. Smith, Shrimply Pibbles' life can be saved... if we replace his heart with your human penis. Jerry: I see... Wait, what?!

penis Organs Heart Transplant Life Saved

From “The Ricklantis Mixup”

You got some of that mermaid puss.

Mermaid Sex Vagina

This seems like a good time for a drink, and a cold, calculated speech with sinister overtones. A speech about politics, about order, brotherhood, power... but speeches are for campaigning. Now is the time for action.

Politics Sinister Speech Campaigning Action

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