Quotes tagged ‘masturbate’

(14 total)

“Yes, there are ways to stimulate and arouse yourself without porn.”

“Goddamn it, Bill fucking Murray! I had to get that out. I don’t mean to gush. This is so surreal. I mean, you probably get this all the time. Maybe not lately, but I’m such a huge fan of yours. You know, I swear, I’ve seen every one of your movies a million times. I even loved your dramatic roles an…”

— Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Tallahassee, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com

“Oscar: Hey. What are you doing right now? Mark: Uh, I was either going to jerk off or draw a picture of a car.”

— Matt Hubbard, Alan Yang, Mark Erickson, Noah Robbins, imdb.com

“Sweetheart. I noticed you were pretending to masturbate and I was wondering if you wanted to talk about it.”

— Laurie Nunn, Jean Milburn, Gillian Anderson, imdb.com

“Daria: You guys will never graduate. Butt-head: Uhh…never masturbate?”

— Kristofor Brown, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“Lana: That since we are going to die tomorrow, we should have sex. Archer: Are you kidding? After seeing a tiger get murdered? Lana, I'm not in the mood! ...I mean, if you want to, I can watch while you masturbate, but just so you know, my heart's not going to be into it. It's going to be with that…”

— Adam Reed, Sterling Archer (voice), H. Jon Benjamin, imdb.com

“I masturbated to an extra curvy piece of driftwood the other day!”

— Dan Guterman, Justin Roiland, Dan Harmon, Morty Smith (voice), Justin Roiland, imdb.com

“Morty: So what?! Y-Y-You could do things inside! Y-You could play guitar, you could masturbate! Morty Jr.: I don't wanna masturbate! I wanna conquer the planet!”

— Justin Roiland, Dan Harmon, Morty Smith (voice), Justin Roiland, imdb.com

“Before a date, entice your guy over to your place early, and let him watch you masturbate before you leave for the evening, telling him he can have his turn later.”

— Holly Eagleson, cosmopolitan.com

“The more you masturbate, the more you get to know your body. Women who have phenomenal sex lives are the same women who masturbate regularly, because they have an awareness about how their body works, what leaves them feeling ‘meh,’ and what really gets them off. Knowledge is power, people!”

— Amanda Chatel, bolde.com

“Get into some mutual masturbation. Side-by-side. Not much is hotter than starting a hot night off with some mutual masturbation.”

— Becky, thestir.cafemom.com

“It's okay if you want to masturbate yourself at the same time. Pleasuring yourself while you're giving him a hand job can be twice the turn-on.”

— Dr. Sari Locker, sarilocker.com

“If you have an STD, the deadly HIV or another, you must tell your partners. If you don't have the courage, then masturbate.”

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, twitter.com

“I masturbate in the shower when I’m on my period. Multiple orgasms, no cleanup.”

— Christina Lan, buzzfeed.com