“Darrin Stephens: You're a what? Samantha: I'm a witch! Darrin Stephens: That's wonderful. We'll talk about it tomorrow. Samantha: Now! I am a witch. A real broom-riding, house-haunting, cauldron-stirring witch.”Tagged: Witches
“Darrin Stephens: I don't mean to be disrespectful, but we wanna live normal lives. Endora: What is normal to you, young man, is to us asinine.”Tagged: normal, asinine, disrespectful, Witches, Mortals
“Darrin Stephens: [Gasping] What's in that drink? Liza Randall: Root beer? Darrin Stephens: Root beer and what? Liza Randall: Scotch.”Tagged: root beer, Scotch, spiked drink
“Kermit: Susan's never talked like that before. Samantha Stephens: It is strange. She was so friendly at first. Darrin Stephens: She wouldn't have, if my wife had gone and powdered her nose, instead of twitching it in other people's business. Samantha Stephens: I didn't say a word. Darrin Stephens:…”Tagged: Witches, Meddling
“Darrin Stephens: Well, what are you going to do? Samantha Stephens: I thought I'd take him to see Santa Claus. Darrin Stephens: Another one? Samantha Stephens: The real one. Darrin Stephens: The real...? Are you telling—are you trying to tell me there really is...? Samantha Stephens: Of course there…”Tagged: Santa Claus, North Pole
“Samantha Stephens: Mother's often said that mortals are their own worst enemies. Darrin Stephens: You just said the one word I don't like to hear. Samantha Stephens: 'Enemies'? Darrin Stephens: 'Mother'.”Tagged: Mother in Law, Witches, Mortals
“Darrin Stephens: Pete, what do you do when you find out your wife's a witch? A very old witch. Bartender Al: You do just like I done, pal. I mean, you just gotta learn to live with it.”Tagged: Marriage, witch, double meaning
“Darrin Stephens: Hello, sweetheart, this is your husband, D. Samantha Stephens: D for Dearest, or D for Darling? Darrin Stephens: D for Dumb.”Tagged: dumb, Dearest
“Darrin Stephens: You know, Endora, sometimes you can be almost human. Endora: This is no time to be insulting.”Tagged: Witches, Mortals, insults
“Samantha Stephens: Darrin, do you love me? Darrin Stephens: No. [Samantha is mad] Darrin Stephens: I mean, yes, I love you but no, I won't do what you want me to do when you say 'Darrin, do you love me?'.”Tagged: Love, Mad, manipulation