“Why do we have to pretend to be stupid when we're not stupid? Why do we have to pretend to be helpless when we're not helpless? Why do we have to pretend we're not hungry when we're hungry?”Tagged: pretending
“Calling that thing a house is like calling the Vatican a church.”Tagged: Mansions, Big Homes, Examples of Similes
“I’m officially losing my mind, which is perfect. Now I will be alone and crazy, the famous mad divorcée of the upper West Side.”Tagged: losing my mind, Divorce, Upper West Side, Perfect, crazy
“All that shit they say about Jewish girls in the bedroom? Not true. There are French whores standing around the Marais District saying [French accent], “Did you hear what Midge did to Joel’s balls the other night?””Tagged: Sex, not true, french accent
“Oh, I’m going to have to lie to the rabbi about why Joel’s not there. Lying to the rabbi on Yom Kippur! I couldn’t get a clean slate for one fucking day”Tagged: Lie, rabbi, Clean Slate, upset
“Tell Ethan I’ll pick him up tomorrow. Don’t baptize him while I’m gone.”Tagged: baptize, Sassy, Motherhood, upset
“You said you didn’t want our life. But this is our life. You didn’t go somewhere exotic or different, you went across the fucking street”Tagged: Life, situation, upset
“So this is what you were missing Joel? Pot roast and Santa Claus?”Tagged: Missing, Pot Roast, santa clause, Sassy
“I don’t have my apartment anymore. You have my apartment. You have a lot of my things, actually. You’re welcome.”Tagged: apartment, Sassy, You're Welcome, Things
“You know, it’s funny. I thought I’d find you squatting in some downtown smoke-filled atelier, not two blocks away, living the Methodist version of our life.”Tagged: downtown, squatting, Methodist, Lives
“If women don’t realize what’s going on in the world, they won’t step in and fix it.”Tagged: Woman, feminism
“For Christmas, a gentile would get a bike as a reminder that their parents love them. For Hanukkah, we would get socks as a reminder that we were persecuted.”Tagged: Christmas, bike, parental love, Socks, gifts
“Me, personally, I was never great at gift-giving. Maybe it’s because I never got to celebrate Christmas. I got Hanukkah. Doesn’t exactly prepare you the same way.”Tagged: gift giving, Prepare, Hannukkah, Christmas
“Like, it’s Adam and Eve time, and I marry Adam’s son, Cain. We get a nice little place, we’re very happy, and then one day Cain leaves me for, I don’t know, his brother Abel, because there’s only four fucking people on the planet at this point! And then Adam, Adam takes my house and tells me to do…”Tagged: Adam And Eve, Comparrison, upset, unfair
“See, my life completely fell apart today, and here’s why. My father-in-law owns my house. And he took it back when his son left me. Actually, that doesn’t sound funny at all.”Tagged: father in law, Ownership, House, upset, tricky situation