“Midge: I am not a prostitute. I’m a comic. Rose: Is there a difference? Midge: Yes, prostitutes get paid more.”Tagged: Prostitue, Money, salary, comic
“You know, what do leprechauns and guys with big dicks have in common? They’re hard to find and incredibly lucky.”Tagged: joke, Lucky, comedy
“Susie: So, rule number one for this performance? Midge: Don’t say ‘fuck.’ Susie: Rule number two for this performance? Midge: Do not say ‘fuck.’”Tagged: Rules, Cursing, bad words
“Okay, if there's one thing a Jewish girl knows, it's when to see a doctor.”Tagged: doctor, Jewish Girl , Knowledge
“Does being a modern woman mean I have to give up being a girl?”Tagged: modern women, Sacrifice, Questions
“Midge: I think I'd like being famous. Shy: I think you're gonna find out.”Tagged: Famous, Future, Talent
“Oh, now Shy, you never ask a girl 'How old are you?' or 'How much do you weigh?' or 'Do you love your ex-husband?'”Tagged: Questions, Weight, Love, Ex-Husband
“I'm sorry that you are so disappointed in how my life turned out.”Tagged: Life, Sorry, Disappoinment
“Because, really, if there’s no loyalty, whats the point of a partnership?”Tagged: loyal, Partner, Partnership
“Susie: Get back on that horse. Midge: The horse can go to hell.”Tagged: Sassy, expression, Try Again
“Remember you’re not trying to fix anything. You’re just trying to be heard.”Tagged: Heard, Jokes about complaining , Fix