Jill Taylor: [discussing Jill's upcoming job interview] Tim, do you ever listen to me? It was the last thing that I said in bed to you last night. Tim Taylor: No; I believe, if you recall, the last thing you said to me in bed last night was 'NO!' Jill Taylor: [smirking] You're thinking of tonight.
Catalog
Tim Allen
Timothy Allen Dick (born June 13, 1953), known professionally as Tim Allen, is an American actor and comedian. He is known for his role as Tim "The Toolman" Taylor in the ABC television show Home Improvement (1991–1999) as well as for his starring roles in several films, including the roles of Scott Calvin/Santa Claus in The Santa Clause trilogy and Buzz Lightyear in the Toy Story franchise. From 2011 to 2017, he starred as Mike Baxter in the TV series Last Man Standing. Since 2007, he is the owner of the company Boxing Cat Films. 2Early life Allen was born in Denver, Colorado, to Martha Katherine (née Fox), a community-service worker, and Gerald M. Dick (1923–1964), a real estate agent. He is the third oldest of five brothers. His father died in a car accident, colliding with a drunk driver when Allen was 11. Two years later, his mother married her high school sweetheart, a business executive, and moved with her six children to Birmingham, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit, to be with her new husband and his three children. Allen attended Seaholm High School in Birmingham, where he was in theater and music classes (resulting in his love of classical piano). He then attended Central Michigan University before transferring to Western Michigan University in 197
Tim: Jill got mad at me because I didn't listen to her. Wilson: No, I think she got mad at you because you blew up the damn dishwasher.
You know why I like tools? Because they fix things—you tear down a motor, see the problem, it's right there—boom; it's fixed. I wish I could fix things between us that easily.
Jill: What, do you have rocks in your head? Don't you think? Tim: Let's talk about who doesn't think for a minute—who drove around for two days with the oil light on? Jill: Wait—I thought you said you weren't going to bring up the oil light. Tim: With all those rocks in my head, sometimes I don't…
Tim: It's a warning light; didn't it occur to you there might be a little problem? Jill: I thought if there was a problem with the car that the light would get brighter, or there would be a buzzer. Tim: A buzzer? It's a car, not a game show.
Jill Taylor: I thought you said it was a technical problem. Tim Taylor: Technically, I was the problem.
Tim Taylor: I'm gonna let you guys in on a little secret, all right? Women, as we know them, are born without a face. Randy Taylor: Bull! Tim Taylor: Listen to me—women are like a Mr. Potato Head. You've heard your mom say every now and then, 'Excuse me, fellas, I've gotta go upstairs and put my…
Tim Taylor: I like to create, Wilson. Everything I do, I wanna make bigger and better. Wilson: Well, Tim, this obsessive desire to create partly happens because men feel inferior to women. [Tim grunts, perplexed] It's because we can't bear children. Tim Taylor: Ah, I don't mind the boys that much.…
Jill Taylor: They broke the mirror, they put in the wrong tiling, we've got a cement... Jill Taylor: [suddenly seeing her new whirlpool bath] Oh, wow, wow, what's this? Tim Taylor: This is what will make it all worthwhile: Your new whirlpool. Jill Taylor: Oh, Tim, it's so beautiful. Look at the…