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Tim Allen

81 quotesTelevision Actor · Born Jun 13, 1953 · United States Of America · Male

Timothy Allen Dick (born June 13, 1953), known professionally as Tim Allen, is an American actor and comedian. He is known for his role as Tim "The Toolman" Taylor in the ABC television show Home Improvement (1991–1999) as well as for his starring roles in several films, including the roles of Scott Calvin/Santa Claus in The Santa Clause trilogy and Buzz Lightyear in the Toy Story franchise. From 2011 to 2017, he starred as Mike Baxter in the TV series Last Man Standing. Since 2007, he is the owner of the company Boxing Cat Films. 2Early life Allen was born in Denver, Colorado, to Martha Katherine (née Fox), a community-service worker, and Gerald M. Dick (1923–1964), a real estate agent. He is the third oldest of five brothers. His father died in a car accident, colliding with a drunk driver when Allen was 11. Two years later, his mother married her high school sweetheart, a business executive, and moved with her six children to Birmingham, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit, to be with her new husband and his three children. Allen attended Seaholm High School in Birmingham, where he was in theater and music classes (resulting in his love of classical piano). He then attended Central Michigan University before transferring to Western Michigan University in 197

All arguments (4)Women (3)space ranger (3)Fear (3)Husband-Bashing (3)traffic tickets (2)Flying (2)Marriage (2)American Politics (2)gender roles (2)Toys (2)Football (2)Politics (2)i come in peace (2)Misandry (2)

From “All About Eve”

Vanessa Baxter: That cop pulled me over today and gave me a ticket. Mike Baxter: I told ya to stay off Cedar, babe. Vanessa Baxter: No, he's movin' around. He was on Hudson, today. Mike Baxter: Hudson? That's under construction. Double the fine. Smart cop. Vanessa Baxter: Oh, I don't care about the…

traffic tickets Women Knockers hair flip

Mike Baxter: These kids are into big government. No surprise. Teenagers are used to spending other people's money. Ed Alzate: What do kids that age know? They're just parroting the stuff they learned at home, just like Eve probably does with you. Mike Baxter: No, no, no, no. Eve's different. She's…

Big Government independent thinkers Politics teenagers

Of all the ways the government dips into our pocket and steals our money, my least favorite is when the police gives us bogus tickets just to fill up their quotas.

traffic tickets government theft Police quotas

Vanessa Baxter: You know what, honey, Hillary Clinton was a Goldwater girl in 1964. Mike Baxter: So? Satan used to work for God. What's your point?

Hillary Clinton Barry Goldwater 1964 satan

From “Sinkhole”

Mike Baxter: [after almost driving into a sinkhole] Oh, man! You good? It's all good. It's all good. Hold on a second. [puts car in reverse and pushes Boyd back into his seat] Get back in there. Sit back down. [after backing away from the sinkhole] Okay, listen, you sure you're all right? Boyd…

Driving bad driving Accidents Karate

President Richard Nixon once said, 'People react to fear, not love.' Easy for him to say because he was kinda scary and nobody loved him.

Richard Nixon Fear Love

Ed Alzate: With this water purifier they can drink their own pee. Mike Baxter: Or river water, or lake water. But by all means, use the pee as a selling point.

water purifiers Pee selling point

Mike Baxter: Okay, what Supreme Court justice do we want to retire? Boyd Baxter: Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Mike Baxter: Nice! And what are the five justices that we want to stay on forever? Boyd Baxter: Don't tell me, I know this one... Mike Baxter: I gave you a little hint, remember? The star method?…

supreme court justices antonin scalia ruth bader ginsburg Clarence Thomas

From “School Merger”

A black man who likes hockey, that's the most creative costume I've seen all night.

Black Men Hockey stereotypes

From “Big Shots”

Those of you waging a war against vaccinations, you're going to lose that war, vaccines won the Revolutionary War. See at that time there was a big outbreak of smallpox, not to be confused with great pox, which is what they called syphilis, that led to the great 18th century pick up line, 'Come on…

variolation George Washington Revolutionary War Spotted Dick Syphilis

Ryan: Scared of a little boy? Mike Baxter: This coming from the guy who took one look at him and left for three years.

Fear sissy coward

From “Helen Potts”

It's amazing, a woman with so many tools has so many screws loose.

Tools screw loose Gaslighting

From “Welcome Baxter”

Politicians, politics always change. Sometimes it's my guys. Sometimes it's your morons.

Politics American Politics

If we just hunker down in our separate corners, nobody wins.

American Politics Discussion

Let's be honest, if nobody's talking, then nobody's listening. If nobody's listening, nobody's learning.

Trust Communication

From “Toy Story”

Buzz Lightyear: [Referring to Andy's other toys] Do you know these life forms? Woody: Yes, they're Andy's toys.

life forms Toys

Woody: [trying to get Buzz Lightyear into Molly's stroller] It's a special spaceship, I just saw it. Buzz Lightyear: You mean it has hyperdrive?

stroller spaceship hyperdrive

Buzz Lightyear: [sees Woody's ‘Sheriff’ star badge] Local law enforcement! It's about time you got here. I'm Buzz Lightyear, Space Ranger, Universe Protection Unit. My ship has crash-landed here by mistake. Woody: Yes, it is a mistake, because, you see, the bed here is my spot.

Law Enforcement crash landing

Buzz Lightyear: [in Sid's backpack, approaching his home] Sheriff, I can see your indwelling from here. You're almost home. Alien: Nirvana is coming, the mystic portal awaits.

Nirvana mystic portal

Woody: Buzz Lightyear? Buzz Lightyear? You're not worried, are you? Buzz Lightyear: Me? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Are you? [camera pans out] Woody: Now Buzz Lightyear, what could Andy possibly get that is worse than you?

worried

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