Show

Aliens in America

Aliens in America is an American sitcom created by David Guarascio and Moses Port that aired on The CW for one season from 2007–2008. Guarascio and Port also served as executive producers of the show alongside Tim Doyle. Luke Greenfield directed the pilot

(10 total)

Seasons

Season 1 (10)

Characters

Franny (3)Sameer Gardezi (3)Amy Pietz (3)Gary Tolchuck (3)Scott Patterson (3)Emily Kapnek (2)Rob Ulin (2)Robia Rashid (1)Nolan Gerard Funk (1)Richard Day (1)

“Franny: Today this family is going to church. Gary: What? Claire: Seriously? Justin: I don't wanna go! Franny: Today this family is going to church, now get in the damn car!”

— Rob Ulin, Franny, Amy Pietz, imdb.com

Tagged: Church, swearing, Resistence, Irony, Witty

“Franny: If you join the chastity club, I'll let you go on the Pill for Christmas. Claire: Deal.”

— Rob Ulin, Franny, Amy Pietz, imdb.com

Tagged: Chastity, Christian, Church, The Pill, birth control

“Franny: Yeah, well whole idea is that when you come to America, you check your traditions at the border. Gary: Otherwise you've just got cannibals running around in the streets and we've got enough traffic problems as it is.”

— Sameer Gardezi, Gary Tolchuck, Scott Patterson, imdb.com

Tagged: racism, Culture, Traditions, Border, Cannibals

“Gary: Look, son, it's OK to suck. But it's not OK to quit. And if that means making a fool of yourself in front of thousands and thousands of people, so be it. Justin: There's only, like, 80 people out there. Gary: Yeah, but it's gonna feel like thousands when they're throwing garbage at you...”

— Emily Kapnek, Sameer Gardezi, Gary Tolchuck, Scott Patterson, imdb.com

Tagged: suck, Fail, Failure, Fool, Snarky

“Todd: Caucasian? What the hell's a Caucasian? Mike: I don't know. They should go back to where they came from!”

— Michael Glouberman, Todd Palladino, Nolan Gerard Funk, imdb.com

Tagged: Caucasian, racism, ignorant, Stupid, humor

“Franny: Gary, they're teenagers. School is their job. Raja gets straight A's, but Claire really needs to get that history grade up. And Justin, he needs work on his physics... Justin: Yeah. Franny: ...social skills... Justin: What?”

— Robia Rashid, Franny, Amy Pietz, imdb.com

Tagged: teenagers, kids, School, physics, Social Skills

“Claire: Dude, don't be embarrassed. You're not the one who kissed you. Justin: Do you think it meant anything to her at all? Claire: Oh yeah - she'll never forget you. Justin: Really? Claire: You're the biggest mistake she ever made - that lasts forever.”

— Sam Laybourne, Sameer Gardezi, Claire Tolchuck, Lindsey Shaw, imdb.com

Tagged: embarrassed, kiss, Regret, mistake, Insult

“Sir, you should know that you are not going to find any evidence of terrorism. But you are going to find some very bad things on there. And that is because I used my computer to visit naughty websites of naked women.”

— Richard Day, Raja, Adhir Kalyan, imdb.com

Tagged: Terrorism, Porn, naughty, Raunchy, The internet

“Jeffrey: I just wish there was something I could do to change her mind. Gary: Well you can't play it cool, that ship has sailed.”

— Emily Kapnek, Gary Tolchuck, Scott Patterson, imdb.com

Tagged: Relationships, Family, cool, Playing It Cool, Snarky

“Raja: What prayers do you recite when you are upset? Justin: I don't usually uh... I don't really pray that much. Usually I just, you know, like, eat a, eat a brownie or, uh, buy a CD.”

— Moses Port, David Guarascio, Justin Tolchuck, Dan Byrd, imdb.com

Tagged: Prayers, Religion, Pray, Brownie, CD