Season

Season 14

by Wendy Schaal, Rachael MacFarlane, Scott Grimes, Seth MacFarlane, Dee Bradley Baker and 4 others

(11 total)

Characters

Kathryn Borel (9)Sam Brenner (9)Seth MacFarlane (8)Roger The Alien (7)Paul Stroud (2)Brian Boyle (2)Jeff Kauffmann (2)Teresa Hsiao (2)Snot (Voice) (1)Charles Suozzi (1)

“Snot: Hanukkah's always been second fiddle to Christmas. We don't have any catchy songs or Santa. This is a tough time of the year for us. Roger: Are there, or have there ever been, other tough times for Jewish people? Snot: Yes.”

— Paul Stroud, Teresa Hsiao, Snot (Voice), Curtis Armstrong, imdb.com

Tagged: Hannukah, Songs, Tough Time, Year, Jewish

“So kids, if you want presents from Schmanta this year, don't put out milk and cookies, put out lox and bagels. And call your mother, she's very worried about you.”

— Brian Boyle, Paul Stroud, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Lox and Bagels, Call Your Mother, Jewish, stereotypes, presents

“Text bubbles are made out of flesh-eating bacteria. You didn't know that?”

— Sam Brenner, Kathryn Borel, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Text Bubbles, flesh eating bacteria, Shock, Knowledge

“In a hundred years, when there’s a million jerks riding around Manhattan drunk in limos, the west will seem like a paradise.”

— Kathryn Borel, Sam Brenner, Brian Boyle, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Jerks, Manhatten, Drunk, West, Better places

“My roses are like bones in a desert.”

— Kathryn Borel, Sam Brenner, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Roses, Bones, dessert, Simile Examples

“It had been days since Hayley watched MasterChef Junior with me. I told her I'd wait for her, but I didn't. I couldn't. Peyton made a souffle. Eight years old, making a souffle. Imagine that.”

— Sam Brenner, Kathryn Borel, Joel Hurwitz, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Master chef, Souffle, Imagine

“I've been experimenting with steroids. It's awesome! Now I wear tank tops with the thinnest straps you've ever seen.”

— Kathryn Borel, Sam Brenner, Charles Suozzi, Klaus (voice), Dee Bradley Baker, imdb.com

Tagged: Steroids, Thin Straps, Tank Top, Buff

“Hayley: Where did you get a pregnancy test with sound effects? Jeff: At Spencer's Gifts.”

— Kathryn Borel, Sam Brenner, Teresa Hsiao, Jeff Fischer (Voice), Jeff Fischer, imdb.com

Tagged: Spencer's, gifts, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Test

“Well suck me off through a hole and call me Rick Steves, what is this?”

— Kathryn Borel, Sam Brenner, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Suck me off, Excitement, Rick Steves, curious

“I love myself all the time. At least once in the morning, and usually right before I go to sleep.”

— Jeff Kauffmann, Kathryn Borel, Sam Brenner, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Love, love myself, everyday, Evening, Morning

“Stan: Uh... if I didn't care about historical accuracy, would I have stolen the actual Spirit of St. Louis from the Smithsonian? Steve: What?! Stan: The toughest part was convincing the guard I came in with it.”

— Kathryn Borel, Sam Brenner, Jeff Kauffmann, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: History, Stealing, convincing, Smithsonian, Gaurd