The three biggest lies are: the check’s in the mail, I’ll respect you in the morning, and I’m glad I’m Jewish.
Catalog
Quotes tagged ‘Jewish’
Do you know how difficult it is to be black and Jewish in the hood?
I grew up in a neighborhood and it was mostly Irish and Italian and Polish. So everybody went to mass. I was in a Jewish family, but we never had any religious upbringing. The closest I got to Jewish was, you know, they clipped the tip. That was it. I had no say about that at all.
And what I am fearful of is that because Rashida and I are Muslim, that a lot of Jewish colleagues, a lot of our Jewish constituents, a lot of our allies, go to thinking that everything we say about Israel, to be anti-Semitic, because we are Muslim. And so to me, it is something that becomes designe…
I know that I have a huge Jewish constituency, and you know, every time I meet with them they share stories of [the] safety and sanctuary that they would love for the people of Israel, and most of the time when we’re having the conversation, there is no actual relative that they speak of, and there…
I wish I could take it back. I can’t, and I wish I could take it back. What I said there is something that I’m deeply embarrassed by, and I’m truly regretful. And I know that forgiveness isn’t given, it’s earned, and that’s why I apologized immediately and that’s why I reached out to the Office of D…
I was in a friend group where we were saying the most shocking things for the sake of shock value, and you know, in the same kind of messages, I said extremely anti-Semitic things, and it’s not representative of who I am because I go to synagogue every week, and my parents are Jewish. This isn’t ...…
Vincent: Want some bacon? Jules: No man, I don't eat pork. Vincent: Are you Jewish? Jules: Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.
— Quentin Tarantino, Roger Avary, Jules, Samuel L Jackson, imdb.com
[to Doc about Mickey Wolfmann] He's technically Jewish but wants to be a Nazi.
[to his Asian companion] I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?
— Douglas Kenney, Brian Doyle-Murray, Harold Ramis, Al Czervik, Rodney Dangerfield, imdb.com
Look, if you wanna be a good writer then you can't have a mediocre life. I'll give you a baseball metaphor, because Jewish writers love them. Swing from the heels.
See this thing? It's a mezuzah. Got that? And I need you to put it over the door here. This is like a Jewish thing, you know, we put it over the door so every anti-Semite in the neighborhood will know that we live here in case they want to burn down the house.
Well I do hate myself, but it has nothing to do with being Jewish.
Walter: Are you Jewish? Larry: You wanna check my penis?
Jews don’t get to decide if they’re Jews.
— Frank Spotnitz, Inspector Kido, Joel de la Fuente, imdb.com
Kirsten: Maybe you guys can make peace this weekend. Sandy: Okay. Oh, no, no wait. I can't. Kirsten: Why? Sandy: I'm still Jewish. Just gettin' it out of my system. I promise. Kirsten: I wonder what his new girlfriend's like. Sandy: I am sure she is very well paid. And on fire.
— Erica Messer, Debra J. Fisher, Josh Schwartz, Sandy Cohen, Peter Gallagher, imdb.com
Kelly: You know they were Jewish, right? Ash: I-I did not. Wish you could have said somethin' before I made those dumb crosses, but, okay.
— Dominic Dierkes, Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams, Bruce Campbell, imdb.com
Paul: I wouldn't have known it from looking at you. You don't look Jewish. Archie: There is a good reason for that. I'm not.
Snot: Hanukkah's always been second fiddle to Christmas. We don't have any catchy songs or Santa. This is a tough time of the year for us. Roger: Are there, or have there ever been, other tough times for Jewish people? Snot: Yes.
— Paul Stroud, Teresa Hsiao, Snot (Voice), Curtis Armstrong, imdb.com
So kids, if you want presents from Schmanta this year, don't put out milk and cookies, put out lox and bagels. And call your mother, she's very worried about you.
— Brian Boyle, Paul Stroud, Roger The Alien, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com