“The world can really kick your ass. I only have a VAGUE recollection of when it wasn’t kickin’ mine.”
— Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, Roy Munson, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
Tagged: Kick Ass
Movie
Kingpin
by Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, Ernie McCracken, Bill Murray, Woody Harrelson and 68 others
After bowler Roy Munson swindles the wrong crowd and is left with a hook for a hand, he settles into impoverished obscurity. That is, until he uncovers the next big thing: an Amish kid named Ishmael. So, the corrupt and the hopelessly naïve hit the circui
(26 total)
Characters
“Roy: What about a gross of fluorescent condoms for the novelty machine in the men’s room? I mean, those are fun even when you’re alone. Lancaster Bowl Manager: Yeah. Roy: You get it? Lancaster Bowl Manager: [impatiently, trying to read his Asian Brides magazine] Yeah! Roy: This is like the hula hoop…”
— Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, Roy Munson, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
“Man in bowling alley: Come on, boy. Bowl! Roy: The name’s not boy. It’s Roy. [makes a spare] Roy Munson.”
— Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, Roy Munson, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
Tagged: Bowling
“ESPN Announcer: So Roy, where have you been for the last fifteen years? Roy: Well, I uh, well, ya see, I uh...drinking. Lot a drinking. ESPN Announcer: I see. Well, are you still drinking? Roy: No. I uh...I put...uh...why, you buying?”
— Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, Roy Munson, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
Tagged: Alcoholism
“That coffee wasn’t even hot. [takes a sip of coffee] Now, that’s hot.”
— Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, Roy Munson, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
Tagged: Hot Coffee
“Roy: [Whispering so as not to awake Claudia, whom he means to leave behind] Just be quiet. [as Ishmael whispers ‘okay,’ Roy trips and falls] Roy: Ooh! I think I tore my sac. Ishmael: [loudly] Are you okay, Mr. Munson? Roy: Shh! What did I just say? Ishmael: Uh, ‘I think I tore my sac’?”
— Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, Roy Munson, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
“Mr. Boorg: How many children do you have, Brother Hezekiah? Roy: Uh, none that I know of. [Adopting a terrible Irish accent] What I mean to say is, I was, uh, wee, I’m unable to have children. Nasty cheese gratin’ accident as a young man.”
— Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, Roy Munson, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
Tagged: Infertility
“Ishmael: [after losing a game] Mr. Munson, you all right? Roy: [calmly] Ish, uh, what happened in there? Ishmael: Well, I don’t know. Um, I thought I played pretty good. Uh, he’s just a little better than me, that’s all. Roy: Pretty good, huh? 186. [loses his cool] Roy: You lost to a club player! Wh…”
— Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, Roy Munson, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
Tagged: psycho
“Ishmael: You really should try to quit, Mr. Munson. They say it’s bad for your heart, your lungs. It quickens the aging process. Roy: Is that right? Who’s done more research on the subject than the good people at the American tobacco industry? They say it’s harmless. Why would they lie? If you’re de…”
— Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, Roy Munson, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
“Bowling Priest: You see, bowling for money...that’s my only vice. Cocktail Waitress: Here’s your drink. Bowling Priest: Thanks, sugar. [takes drink from a double bourbon on the rocks and pats waitress’ behind] Okay, two vices. Ernie McCracken: That’s still very good.”
— Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, Ernie McCracken, Bill Murray, imdb.com
“Roy: Yeah, sure, Thomas can raise a barn, but can he pick up a 7-10 split? Ishmael: God blessed my brother to be a good carpenter. It’s okay. Roy: Yeah, well, he blessed you, too, and I’ll give you a clue what it is. It’s round, it has three holes, and you stick your fingers into it. Ishmael: [He po…”
— Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, Roy Munson, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
“Ishmael: Whatcha doin’, Mr. Munson? Roy: Flossin’. Ishmael: Flossin? Where’d I get ‘Munson’ from? Roy: The name is Munson, what I’m doin’ is flossin’, this is called floss, cleans your teeth, you oughta try it sometime.”
— Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, Roy Munson, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
Tagged: flossin'