Season 1

“Shirley: Laverne, the only parties we've ever been to are bring-your-own. Laverne: I like bringin' my own... that way I know what I'm gettin'.”

— Bob Brunner, Shirley Feeney, Cindy Williams, imdb.com

“Touch my 'L,' sweetie, and your teeth go to Peoria!”

— Arthur Silver, Laverne De Fazio, Penny Marshall, imdb.com

“You people make me stink!”

— Holly Mascott, Andrew 'Squiggy' Squiggman, David L. Lander, imdb.com

“Laverne: A Society gentleman would only go out with you for one reason - to have a good time, a few laughs, and a little vo-dee-oh-doh-doh. Shirley: I don't vo-dee-oh-doh-doh! Laverne: You vo-dee-oh-doh-doh. Shirley: I don't vo-dee-oh-doh-doh! Laverne: You vo-dee-OH... Shirley: Once, and I was going…”

— Bob Brunner, Laverne De Fazio, Penny Marshall, imdb.com

“To Laverne, If in heaven we don't meet, hand in hand we'll bear the heat. And if it ever gets too hot, Pepsi-Cola hits the spot.”

— Bob Brunner, Laverne De Fazio, Penny Marshall, imdb.com

“Laverne: It just doesn't seem fair. A guy with a reputation is a hero. A girl with a reputation is a bimbo It just doesn't seem fair. Shirley: Well, who knows, maybe a hundred years from now all that will have changed. Laverne: Yeah, wouldn't it be great if no one cared about your reputation? Think…”

— Garry Marshall, Laverne De Fazio, Penny Marshall, imdb.com

“Mrs. Feeney: Now tell me, what do you girls like to do on a Saturday night? Laverne: At home or in a car?”

— Garry Marshall, Laverne De Fazio, Penny Marshall, imdb.com

“I'll be as loose as I ever am on a first date. A little of this, a little of that, but no petting.”

— Garry Marshall, Shirley Feeney, Cindy Williams, imdb.com

“Shirley: She went to Chicago and became a nun. I stayed in Milwaukee and became a bimbo. Laverne: You're no bimbo, Shirl. Shirley: Yes, I am. Compared to her, I'm a bimbo. Laverne: She's a nun. Compared to her, Eleanor Roosevelt's a bimbo.”

— Garry Marshall, Laverne De Fazio, Penny Marshall, imdb.com

“Shirley: Some day, God willing, I'm gonna be a mother. And if my daughter comes to me and says, 'Mama, I want to go to this bachelor party and come outta this cake'... what can I tell her? Laverne: A lot more than most mothers!”

— Mark Rothman, Lowell Ganz, Laverne De Fazio, Penny Marshall, imdb.com

“Shirley: Laverne, the only parties we've ever been to are bring-your-own. Laverne: I like bringin' my own... that way I know what I'm gettin'.”

— Garry Marshall, Laverne De Fazio, Penny Marshall, imdb.com