I have nothing to say to anybody. I'm so uninteresting. I think I'm out of conversation.
Catalog
Episode
The Dog
Jerry is watching an unruly dog, for a fellow airline passenger who's sick in a hospital somewhere in Chicago. Jerry, can't leave his apartment, that leaves George and Elaine alone together. They find they have little to say to each other without their co
I must have been out of my mind. Look at you. Why don't you do something with your life? Sit around here all day, you contribute nothing to society. You're just taking up space. How could I be with someone like you? Couldn't respect myself.
On my block, a lot of people walk their dogs, and I always see them walking along with their little poop bags, which to me is just the lowest function of human life. If aliens are watching this through telescopes, they're gonna think the dogs are the leaders. If you see two life forms, one of them's…
Please! Please!! I take it all back, everything! I take it all back, every word! I love you! I love YOU! I can't live without you, I'll do anything.
No, it's like BO and cologne, they combine forces into some kind of strange mutant funk.
If you could see her personality it would be like one of the Elephant Man exhibits, you know where they pull off the sheet and everyone gasps.
You know how there's some people you worry about whether you're going to hurt their feelings? With her, I'm looking forward to it. I'd like to get it on video, watch it in slow motion and freeze-frame it. Oh ho, yeah.
Do you believe this? Do you believe what I'm dealing with here? I've got a wild animal in the house! He's deranged, maybe he's got rabies. I can get lockjaw.
So I'm on the plane, we left late. Pilot says we're going to be making up some time in the air. I thought, well isn't that interesting? We'll just make up time. That's why you have to reset your watch when you land. Of course, when they say they're making up time, obviously they're increasing the sp…