Season

Season 5

by Trey Parker, Isaac Hayes, Matt Stone, Mary Kay Bergman, Eliza Schneider and 16 others

In 'It Hits the Fan' a well-known expletive becomes common currency after an airing on an influential TV police drama, but this particular curse-word is itself cursed and soon has the land crawling with Black Death. 'Cripple Fight' sees the parents mount

(16 total)

Characters

Trey Parker (23)Matt Stone (5)Butters (4)Eric Cartman (4)Thom Yorke (2)Kyle Broflovski (2)Chef (1)Stan Marsh (1)Will Smith Jr. (1)Isaac Hayes (1)

“Butters: Oh well, when I get a chipotle blue-cheese bacon burger at Bennigan's, I forget all about my dad being queer and my mom is trying to kill me. I'm going to be okay. Stan: Really? Butters: No, I'm lying.”

— Trey Parker, Butters, Matt Stone, imdb.com

Tagged: Queer, bennigan's

“...and these are Puff Daddy's kids: P-Diddy Mini, P-Poofy Bite-Size, and Puffa-Diddy Diddy Puff Fun-Size.”

— Trey Parker, Will Smith Jr., Trey Parker, imdb.com

Tagged: P. Diddy, Nicknames

“Truck Driver: Yeah. Too bad you're not a broad, 'cause I need some goddamn poontang. Butters: Yeah. I could use some goddamn poontang myself right now.”

— Trey Parker, Butters, Matt Stone, imdb.com

Tagged: poontang, Goddamn

“Chef: Parents. There are reasons why teachers can't teach sex in school. They might not know a lot about it, [camera fixes on Mr. Mackey] they might have a bad opinion of it, [camera moves to Ms. Choksondik] or they might just be a complete pervert. [camera moves to Mr. Garrison] Mr. Garrison: Hey!…”

— Trey Parker, Chef, Isaac Hayes, imdb.com

Tagged: Sex Education, Pervert

“America may have some problems, but it's our home, our team. And if you don't wanna root for your team, then you should get the hell out of the stadium.”

— Trey Parker, Stan Marsh, Trey Parker, imdb.com

Tagged: America, Patriotism, Home Team

“You think that sex is about fun and games and love? Wrong! Sex is about disease.”

— Trey Parker, Miss Choksondik, Trey Parker, imdb.com

Tagged: Sex, Love, Fun, Games, disease

“I don't think I'm very happy. I always fall asleep to the sound of my own screams.”

— Trey Parker, Butters, Matt Stone, imdb.com

Tagged: Unhappy, Sleep, screams

“Didn't you hear the letter? This poor kid has cancer! In his ass!”

— Trey Parker, Thom Yorke, Thom Yorke, imdb.com

Tagged: ass cancer, Benefit Concert, Radiohead

“Randy Marsh: You do not say 'big silly goose,' you call him an asshole like a normal kid! Stan: But Dad, I was just trying to— Randy Marsh: Stanley, you call your friend an asshole this instant! Stan: [to Cartman] Asshole. Randy Marsh: That's better. Cartman: Don't call me an asshole, you big son of…”

— Trey Parker, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

Tagged: asshole, Son of a Bitch, Assertiveness

“Jeez, you're a little irritable, Kyle. What's the matter, you got some sand in your vagina?”

— Trey Parker, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

Tagged: irritable, sand in your vagina

“Why? How could you do this? There are people starving in Alabama! And you give Cartman a million dollars?!”

— Trey Parker, Kyle Broflovski, Matt Stone, imdb.com

Tagged: Alabama, Poverty, God

“Well, they can't say fag, you have to be a homosexual to say that.”

— Trey Parker, Mr. Garrison, Trey Parker, imdb.com

Tagged: fag, Homosexual

“Oh, my God, they killed Kenny!”

— Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

Tagged: Kenny, They Killed Kenny

“I don't think I'm very happy. I always fall asleep to the sound of my own screams.”

— Trey Parker, Butters, Trey Parker, imdb.com

Tagged: Happy, Hearing Voices

“Stan: Dude, are you okay? Kyle: [sarcastically] Oh, I'm swell, Stan. I popped my hemorrhoid trying to climb the fence into Cartmanland and it got infected. I really need to go to the bathroom, but if I do, it will pop again and the pain will make me pass out. How are you?”

— Trey Parker, Kyle Broflovski, Matt Stone, imdb.com

Tagged: Hemorrhoid, hospital, Pain, Sarcasm

“If a woman did that to me, I'd be all like, ‘Hey, why don't you stop...dressing me up like a mailman and making me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my dad's bed!!!’”

— Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

Tagged: Drag, Crossdressing, Smoking Crack