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Mr. Garrison

13 quotesEducator · United States Of America · Transgender Female

Herbert Garrison, formerly known as Janet Garrison, is a fictional character in the American animated television series South Park, He is voiced by Trey Parker and first appeared on television on August 13, 1997 in South Park's pilot episode "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe". Mr. Garrison was depicted primarily as a teacher until his dismissal, and then mounted a campaign that resulted in his election as President of the United States. Garrison is particularly cynical, especially in comparison with the rest of South Park's adults, and he is one of the few characters to ever break the fourth wall on the show. For the first eight seasons of the series, the character was known as Mr. Garrison. He underwent a sex change in the season 9 premiere "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina". The character was thereafter known to the other characters as Janet Garrison or Mrs. Garrison, despite being unmarrie

All Alabama (2)Hell (2)Naked (1)Nazi (1)Pagan (1)ball tickling (1)Christmas (1)Christmas Poo (1)MAGA (1)violent (1)contact (1)Porn (1)pigeon (1)Nausea (1)Evil (1)

From “Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride”

Gay people? Gay people are evil, right down to their cold black hearts which pump not blood like yours or mine, but rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior. Do you…

Homophobia Evil Nazi Vomitous violent

From “Starvin' Marvin”

Mr. Garrison: And where are you from, Damien? Damien: The seventh layer of hell! Mr. Garrison: Oh, that's exciting, my mother was from Alabama.

Hell Alabama

Mr. Garrison: And where are you from, Damien? Damien: The seventh layer of hell! Mr. Garrison: Oh, that's exciting, my mother was from Alabama.

Hell Alabama

From “Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo”

Mr. Garrison: Kyle, is there anything you can do for the Christmas play that isn't related to Jesus? Sheila: How about the dreidel song, boobie? Kyle: I can sing the Mr. Hankey song. Mr. Garrison: The Mr. Hankey song, how does that go? Kyle: [singing] Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo, he loves me and I…

dreidel Christmas Pagan Christmas Poo

From “Tom's Rhinoplasty”

I'm going to do what I've always wanted to do: hang out and screw hot chicks!

hot chicks screwing

Mr. Garrison: I feel kinda nauseous. Tom: Yes, that's to be expected. We did some major reconstruction, sawed through some bone, snapped some cartilage, all the blood and mucus just the sound of bone and sinew coming apart. [makes disgusting noises of bone and blood] Mr. Garrison: Arrgh! Tom: By the…

Nausea Rhinoplasty contact Alien Vomiting

From “Tweek vs. Craig”

Now, wait a minute. I wanna clear the air here. We all know that pigeon was a whore. Raise your hand if you didn't sleep with that pigeon? [everybody around him raises his or her hand] Oh, whatever!

Whore pigeon pigeon-shaming

From “Sexual Harassment Panda”

Mr. Garrison: Now kids we're going to talk about sexual harassment. Cartman: Is sexual harassment when you're making out with a girl and a guy tickles your balls from behind? Mr. Garrison: No, Cartman, That's not sexual harassment.

Sexual Harassment ball tickling

From “Cartman Joins NAMBLA”

I do not have sex with boys. I like men my own age. Ah! I mean I like women. Ah! What did I just say? I like titties!

NAMBLA Sex With Boys Confessions Titties

From “Cherokee Hair Tampons”

[writing] Diana had never slept with another woman before, but it was an erotic thought she often fantasized about. [aside to Mr. Hat] Oh, yeah, Mr. Hat! Hot lesbo scene coming up! And as Rebecca's naked body lay before her, Diana couldn't help but feel aroused. 'Go on,' Rebecca said softly. 'Touch…

Penises Porn Naked

From “Trapper Keeper”

Mr. Garrison: What the hell is that? [walks to the window and looks out] Oh my God! What is that thing?! Children, there's some huge bulbous monstrosity heading for the classroom! [some of the kids slink down in their seats] Oh my God, it's awful! It's coming for the door. [the doorknob turns and…

Rosie O'Donnell

From “It Hits the Fan”

Well, they can't say fag, you have to be a homosexual to say that.

fag Homosexual

From “Where My Country Gone?”

Where has my country gone? Where has my country gone? It was a land of opportunity that we held dear But now all these other assholes are coming here.

Assholes MAGA Land of Opportunity

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