Quotes tagged ‘asshole’

“You are an immature asshole of the lowest order.”

— Tony Gilroy, Kate Moseley, Moira Kelly, imdb.com

“Roger Dorn: [shouting] Don’t fuck with me, Vaughn. Rick Vaughn: Yeah? [shouting] Fuck you. Roger Dorn: What’s the matter, rookie Fuck-Wad? Can’t you take a little joke? Rick Vaughn: Real fucking funny, asshole. Lou Brown: All right—[shouting]—All right! Knock that shit off. Roger Dorn: Lou, you bett…”

— David S. Ward, Rick 'Wild Thing' Vaughn, Charlie Sheen, imdb.com

“Ben Harp: You’re a real blue flame special, aren’t you, son? Young, dumb and full of cum, I know. What I don’t know is how you got assigned here. Guess we must just have ourselves an asshole shortage, huh? Johnny Utah: [quietly] Not so far.”

— Kurt Wimmer, W. Peter Iliff, Rick King, Johnny Utah, Luke Bracey, imdb.com

“The sun never sets on the British Empire...well, the sun never sets on my asshole.”

— James Merendino, Stevo, Matthew Lillard, imdb.com

“Bud: It helps if you dress like a detective. Detectives dress kinda square. If you look like a detective people are gonna think you're packing something. Otto: Are you? Bud: Am I what? Otto: Packing something? Bud: Only an asshole gets killed for a car.”

— Alex Cox, Bud, Harry Dean Stanton, imdb.com

“I was kind of an asshole in school. I was the girl in class who, you know, the middle- aged, white male teacher was giving us a list of books that we were to read, and I would raise my hand and be like, 'How come there’s no African-American writers? Why isn’t there anything by anyone here who’s gay?…”

— Lady GaGa, amazon.com

“There's always the possibility that some asshole will be offended. Isn't there?”

— Richard Tuggle, Frank Morris, Clint Eastwood, imdb.com

“So ask yourself this: Do you deserve forgiveness? Do you deserve love?”

— Heather Havrilesky, thecut.com

“Listen to your wife, asshole!”

— David Loughery, Howard Korder, Abel Turner, Samuel L Jackson, imdb.com

“You stupid fucking cunt. You, Williamson, I'm talking to you, shithead. You just cost me $6,000. Six thousand dollars, and one Cadillac. That's right. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it, asshole? You're fucking shit. Where did you learn your trade, you stupid fuckin…”

— David Mamet, Ricky Roma, Al Pacino, imdb.com

“It's ridiculous. I'm sittin' here listening to some cracker asshole lives in a trailer park compare his life to mine. Keep on tellin' me about the good life, Elton, because it makes me puke.”

— Carole Eastman, Bob Rafelson, Robert Eroica Dupea, Jack Nicholson, imdb.com

“No guy will ever admit to having a small penis. I just went on the record. I might be one of the smallest guys in the world. I had a trip to the doctor when I had an anal fissure. My asshole was a mess. I’m lying there on this doctor’s table, and my penis, I mean, it was inside itself, like a turtle…”

— Howard Stern, rollingstone.com

“It's ridiculous. I'm sittin' here listening to some cracker asshole lives in a trailer park compare his life to mine. Keep on tellin' me about the good life, Elton, because it makes me puke.”

— Carole Eastman, Bob Rafelson, Robert Eroica Dupea, Jack Nicholson, imdb.com

“You are probably going to be a very successful computer person. But you're going to go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won't be true. It'll be because you're an asshole.”

— Aaron Sorkin, Erica Albright, Rooney Mara, imdb.com

“You're not an asshole, Mark. You're just trying so hard to be.”

— Aaron Sorkin, Marylin Delpy, Rashida Jones, imdb.com

“Patrick: Some asshole paid me to take out this really great girl. Kat Stratford: Is that right? Patrick: Yeah, but I screwed up. I, um, I fell for her.”

— Karen McCullah Lutz, Kirsten Smith, Katarina "Kat" Stratford, Julia Stiles, imdb.com

“I guess in this society, being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time.”

— Karen McCullah Lutz, Kirsten Smith, Katarina "Kat" Stratford, Julia Stiles, imdb.com

“Ellen: What are you looking at? Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer... [Eddie, in the driveway, is draining the RV's toilet] Shitter was full. Clark: Ah, yeah. You checked…”

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

“The Beach Boys? How nice of that man to give me a CD that will remind me of all the wonderful times I shared with his daughter. What an asshole! [starts singing off key to 'Wouldn't It Be Nice', then breaks out in tears] WHY would you do this to me? [leans against the boat wheel and sobs] Oh my god,…”

— George Wing, Henry Roth, Adam Sandler, imdb.com

“[singing outside the Stop N Go] I'm gonna finger-bang her tight little asshole / Finger-bang and tea-bag my balls / Where, where, in her mouth / Balls a-plenty in her mouth / Balls Balls Sweaty Balls.”

— Kevin Smith, Jay, Jason Mewes, imdb.com