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Adam Sandler

133 quotesActor · Born Sep 9, 1966 · United States Of America · Male

Adam Richard Sandler (born September 9, 1966) is an American actor, comedian, screenwriter, film producer, and musician. After becoming a Saturday Night Live cast member, Sandler went on to star in many Hollywood feature films that combined have grossed over $2 billion at the box office. He is best known for his comedic roles, such as in the films Billy Madison (1995), the sports comedies Happy Gilmore (1996) and The Waterboy (1998), the romantic comedy The Wedding Singer (1998), Big Daddy (1999), and Mr. Deeds (2002), and voicing Dracula in Hotel Transylvania (2012) and Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015). He has ventured into more dramatic territory with his roles in Punch-Drunk Love (2002), Spanglish (2004), Reign Over Me (2007), and Funny People (2009). Sandler has released five comedy albums in his career. They're All Gonna Laugh at You! (1993) and What the Hell Happened to Me? (1996) are both certified double-platinum. In 1999, Sandler founded Happy Madison Production

All breakfast (4)Gross (4)Shit (4)baseball (4)Ageism (3)Making Out (3)lisp (3)old balls (3)Dating (3)Dreams (3)Shortstop (3)boobs (3)ass (3)Abner Doubleday (2)Peanut Butter Cups (2)

From “The Ridiculous 6”

That is some mystical shit!

mystical Shit

Ramon: So, do you new brothers have any special skills that could help us out here tonight? Chico: Like what? Ramon: Like you know, Tommy's good with knives, Lil Pete's got a bonus nipple, I got a burro, Herm is good at strangling. Danny: I can hold my breath for six minutes. Chico: Well, I can play…

skills Holding Your Breath nipples

[regarding Ramon's shocked-face signal to begin the heist] You know, I make that same face when I put my cologne on in the morning, especially when I'm home alone.

cologne shocked face Home Alone

From “Adam Sandler's Singing Tribute To Chris Farley ”

On Saturday night, my man would always deliver.

Celebrities Rip

From “Adam Sandler's SNL Skit With A Surprisingly Important Message About Mental Health”

Remember, you're still going to be you on vacation. If you are sad where you are and then you get on a plane to Italy, the you in Italy will be the same sad you from before, just in a new place.

SNL Mental Health Awareness

From “Murder Mystery”

There's bars on planes now? This is... Man, I wish my mother was still alive to see this. She was an alcoholic, but a nice one.

Bars On Planes Flying In First Class

Nick: We travel. I took you to the Poconos that time. Audrey: That was... That was for a funeral, Nick. Nick: How about, uh, when we went to Virginia when my uncle was in a hospice and we got to see him die? We did that.

Never Traveling Married Too Long

You don't have to lie, just tell her to ignore when I'm lying.

lying

He's got a knife plunged in his heart. I don't think he's revivable.

From “Happy Gilmore”

Shooter McGavin: [after buying grandma's house in an auction] You're in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast! Happy Gilmore: [laughing] You eat pieces of shit for breakfast? Shooter McGavin: [long pause] No!

Best Sports Movies Shit

Shooter McGavin: [after buying grandma's house in an auction] You're in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast! Happy Gilmore: [laughing] You eat pieces of shit for breakfast? Shooter McGavin: [long pause] No!

Best Sports Movies Shit

From “Eight Crazy Nights”

Smell ya later, poopsicle!

Insulting

From “Billy Madison”

Billy Madison: Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool? Really. [Notices gold swan on edge of tub] Billy Madison: Stop looking at me, swan.

Shampoo Conditioner

No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? This girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I’m here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the…

chlorophyll Making Out

No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? This girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I’m here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the…

chlorophyll Making Out

Billy Madison: [Veronica has taken Billy out of the classroom after making fun of the kid trying to read My Sister Fanny] OW! You’re tearing my ear off. [Sits down on chair] Veronica Vaughn: [scolding Billy in the hallway] Making fun of a little kid for trying to read. Are you psycho? Do you not…

psycho reading time interruptions howling

Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I’m not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don’t get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school. Well, here goes nothing.

back to school

O’Doyle: [Throws the dodgeball at Billy as he walks on to the playground] Billy Madison: [Catches the ball one-handed] Now you’re all in big, BIG trouble.

dodgeball big trouble

Veronica Vaughn: So it’s um, the last day of third grade, and you have the teacher alone in your tent, what do you want to do? Billy Madison: Well, I can think of three things I’d like to do. One would involve some ice cubes and a nine iron. Two would include a buffalo... Veronica Vaughn: Really?…

Buffalo Ice Cubes

Billy Madison: I swear to God I’m sick. I can’t go to school. Juanita: If you’re gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits. Billy Madison: Oh my God. I’ll go to school.

School calling in sick

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