Sonny: I'm thinkin' about keepin' the kid. Phil D'Amato: Sonny, remember that time you went with me to the pet store to get fish food and you saw that cute little puppy and you wanted to get it, but then I reminded you about feeding it and cleaning it and toilet-training it? Sonny: Yeah... Phil…
Catalog
Adam Sandler
Adam Richard Sandler (born September 9, 1966) is an American actor, comedian, screenwriter, film producer, and musician. After becoming a Saturday Night Live cast member, Sandler went on to star in many Hollywood feature films that combined have grossed over $2 billion at the box office. He is best known for his comedic roles, such as in the films Billy Madison (1995), the sports comedies Happy Gilmore (1996) and The Waterboy (1998), the romantic comedy The Wedding Singer (1998), Big Daddy (1999), and Mr. Deeds (2002), and voicing Dracula in Hotel Transylvania (2012) and Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015). He has ventured into more dramatic territory with his roles in Punch-Drunk Love (2002), Spanglish (2004), Reign Over Me (2007), and Funny People (2009). Sandler has released five comedy albums in his career. They're All Gonna Laugh at You! (1993) and What the Hell Happened to Me? (1996) are both certified double-platinum. In 1999, Sandler founded Happy Madison Production
[Music playing in the background] Layla: This is Styx. Sonny: Yeah. Layla: They've been my favorite band since I was, like, twelve. Sonny: You're kidding me? Layla: No, no, I can't help it, I just love them. My friends make fun of me all the time. Sonny: My friends make fun of me all the time, too.…
I know this is the right thing because I would die for this kid just so he won't feel one ounce of sadness. That's why you're here right now, to protect me, to be scared for me to be a good father. And that's exactly what I'm gonna be.
You can be scared that I might get pickpocketed in a bad neighborhood or break my legs skiing. But don't be scared about me being a dad, because I will not fail. I love this kid too much. I love him as much as you love me, Dad. I'm gonna give him advice and I'm gonna guide him and I'll be there…
Sonny: Get cleaned up and we'll go to Barney's. Julian: Barney? Sonny: Not that Barney, a different Barney. A much more expensive Barney.
Sonny: He's the smelly kid in class!, I let him become the smelly kid in class!, What the hell's the matter with me? Ms. Foote: Oh yes, I've had some smelly ones before, but your son is by far the smelliest.
Sonny: Everyone's so busy with their crap lately, no one ever comes. Mr. Herlihy: Like I'm not busy? Sonny: Hey Mr. Herlihy, how bout you shut up before i smack you threw the wall like last week? Mr. Herlihy: Last Monday was a fluke. Bring it on woman. Oh... hah... hahahahahahaha. Sonny: He drinks a…
Mr. Herlihy: Koufax is a good egg, he was nice to that kid. But he fights like a girl. You like that? I'm right here Miss, what are you gonna do about it? Hahaha. Sonny: What, are you drunk, Mr. Herlihy? Mr. Herlihy: Well, I-I had a few chardonnays, what of it? Sonny: Get off the stand, please. Mr.…
Sonny: What do you eat? Julian: Food. Sonny: Oh, yeah? Well, I eat food, too.
Mike: I am still weirded out seeing them kiss. Sonny: Why? They're gay. That's what gay guys do. Mike: Yeah, but they were like brothers to us in school. Sonny: They're still our brothers. Our very gay brothers.
Mike: I am still weirded out seeing them kiss. Sonny: Why? They're gay. That's what gay guys do. Mike: Yeah, but they were like brothers to us in school. Sonny: They're still our brothers. Our very gay brothers.
Sonny: Hey man, who won the Knick game? Angry Guy: Who cares? Sonny: Don't worry. He can't hold you down forever. Angry Guy: What are you talking about? Sonny: You know what I'm talking about. Angry Guy: You're a loser. Sonny: You're mad at your dad, not me. I forgive you. Angry Guy: [walking away…
What's in the bag, Corrine? Chicken wings? Booby tassels?
[to Julian] I can't take this shit. Are you serious? [Julian continues jumping to the Kangaroo song…under his breath; about the character in the song] Douchebag kangaroo.
Layla: So two guys you were best friends with in law school fell in love with each other? Sonny: Yeah. Layla: Is that strange for you? Sonny: Uh, nothing changed really. They watch a different kind of porno now.
My God, that's a shitload of piss.
Sonny: Don't worry about me making money. I'm in love with a woman who makes plenty of it. She'll be my sugar mamma. Homeless Guy: I gotta get me one of those.
Have a good sleep there, Corrine. Pleasant hooters!
Sonny: I'm going through a rough patch in my life right now. Syracuse is 0 and 3. I got those medical problems. Vanessa: Medical problems? A cab runs over your foot two years ago, you spend one night in the hospital. Sonny: First of all that cab was huge. And a jury decided that one night of pain…
Hey! You just made the biggest mistake of your life, baby. I know you're gunna be missing me when you have that big, white, wrinkly body on you with his loose skin and old balls... gross! Ugh!