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Adam Sandler

133 quotesActor · Born Sep 9, 1966 · United States Of America · Male

Adam Richard Sandler (born September 9, 1966) is an American actor, comedian, screenwriter, film producer, and musician. After becoming a Saturday Night Live cast member, Sandler went on to star in many Hollywood feature films that combined have grossed over $2 billion at the box office. He is best known for his comedic roles, such as in the films Billy Madison (1995), the sports comedies Happy Gilmore (1996) and The Waterboy (1998), the romantic comedy The Wedding Singer (1998), Big Daddy (1999), and Mr. Deeds (2002), and voicing Dracula in Hotel Transylvania (2012) and Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015). He has ventured into more dramatic territory with his roles in Punch-Drunk Love (2002), Spanglish (2004), Reign Over Me (2007), and Funny People (2009). Sandler has released five comedy albums in his career. They're All Gonna Laugh at You! (1993) and What the Hell Happened to Me? (1996) are both certified double-platinum. In 1999, Sandler founded Happy Madison Production

All breakfast (4)Gross (4)Shit (4)baseball (4)Ageism (3)Making Out (3)lisp (3)old balls (3)Dating (3)Dreams (3)Shortstop (3)boobs (3)ass (3)Abner Doubleday (2)Peanut Butter Cups (2)

From “The Ridiculous 6”

Abner DoubleDay: Let's play ball. Welcome, my friends, to the first ever playing of a new sport. A sport of my own devising. On this field, two ten-person teams will engage in a battle of... Yes, Qi? Qi: Only 18 people here. Abner DoubleDay: Two nine-person teams will engage in a battle of strength,…

baseball strategy

Wyatt Earp: What's shakin’, Twain? Mark Twain: Hey, I'm good on anything. Just like gravy, baby. Good to see you, my man. Wyatt Earp: You too, man. Wyatt Earp: Hey, I finally read Prince and the Pauper. Mark Twain: Oh, is that right? Wyatt Earp: Didn't get it. Mark Twain: For reals? Wyatt Earp:…

prince and the pauper gravy Mark Twain wyatt earp

Tommy aka White Knife: [Playing baseball] Okay, that's two past ya. So you're done, right? Abner DoubleDay: No, no, I said three times. Short Stop: No, you said two. Abner DoubleDay: I said three! Three strikes and I'm out. I know what I said, shortstop. That's your new name, Short Stop, that's…

Shortstop Three Strikes Strikeout baseball

Grant: Gentlemen, the buy-in is $15,000. Mark Twain: 15 large. Are you sure General Custard can swing that? General George Custer: It's Custer, not 'Custard.' There is no 'D.' I'm not a dessert. Mark Twain: Boom, I just dropped some satire on your ass, General! General George Custer: You got me!

General Custer Custard satire ass

Frank Stockburn: Boy, you got your mom's muscles. You a prizefighter? Chico: No, actually, I'm a...piano player.

muscles prizefighter Piano Player

Beaver Breath: You have no right to be here. This Apache land. Will Patch: And what you gonna do about it, beaver breath? Beaver Breath: How he know my name?

Land apache Beaver Breath

Never Wears Bra: You lucky, Smoking Fox. White Knife all man. Bravest of all braves. Smoking Fox: Not brave. Foolish. I want to be wife, not widow.

Lucky Brave foolish Wife Widow

[first lines] Clem: Lookie here. My day is made. I didn't even finish breakfast and I get to kill me a stinkin' Injun. Tommy aka White Knife: Injun? Nah. I just dress like this so's I don't get scalped out on the prairie. Clem: Oh, well, that's a convincing outfit. Yeah, you can't be too safe out…

savages scalps breakfast Flour much obliged

Tommy aka White Knife: [Running between base plates] Where you going, nobody hit it? Abner DoubleDay: I stole the base. You weren't looking so I stole it. Chico: You said you could only advance after you hit the ball! Abner DoubleDay: Not when you're stealing. Short Stop: That's bullshit. Abner…

baseball Abner Doubleday Shortstop Stolen Base

Tommy aka White Knife: [Running between base plates] Where you going, nobody hit it? Abner DoubleDay: I stole the base. You weren't looking so I stole it. Chico: You said you could only advance after you hit the ball! Abner DoubleDay: Not when you're stealing. Short Stop: That's bullshit. Abner…

baseball Abner Doubleday Shortstop Stolen Base

Danny: I did a real stupid thing that inadvertently led to the death of a United States president, I'm feeling pretty lousy about it. Frank Stockburn: Well son, look at my eyes... Shit happens! Danny: Yeah. Thanks. Thank you, sir.

Shit Happens lincoln assassination

Lil' Pete: Oh Pa, I have a question for you. Frank Stockburn: Yeah. Lil' Pete: Where do babies come from? Frank Stockburn: Well, son, the mom just poops 'em out. Lil' Pete: [laughed] I knewed it! I knewed it, Dad!

facts of life where do babies come from?poops

Ramon: My mother's Swedish. Tommy aka White Knife: I don't think so. I reckon she's Mexican. Ramon: Lying bitch!

Swedish Mexican lying Bitch

Tommy aka White Knife: Any of you handsome brothers ready to go steal a big hunk of gold? Chico: I'm ready. Ramon: I'm hungry. Danny: I'm drunk. Lil' Pete: And I'm Lil Pete. Herm: [unintelligible] Tommy aka White Knife: Let's get that nugget then...

Handsome Ready

Tommy aka White Knife: Any of you handsome brothers ready to go steal a big hunk of gold? Chico: I'm ready. Ramon: I'm hungry. Danny: I'm drunk. Lil' Pete: And I'm Lil Pete. Herm: [unintelligible] Tommy aka White Knife: Let's get that nugget then...

Handsome Ready

[Danny tells his brothers the incident with President Lincoln] Danny: Mr. President, say, I'm gonna go hit the little boy's room. Abraham Lincoln: Are you shitting me? Danny: Come on, you'll be fine superstar. Can I get you something on the way back? Agua? Brewski? Abraham Lincoln: No. Danny:…

John Wilkes Booth Abraham Lincoln Assassination

Tommy aka White Knife: I'm in a bit of a bind, boys. I rode all the way out here to pan for gold and my horse up and died on me. Rifleman: How'd he die? Tommy aka White Knife: Suicide. Drowned himself. Put his head in the stream and just kept it there. Saddest thing you ever seen.

Suicide Drowning Horse Suicide

Never Wears Bra: [Walks out of her tepee and stretches] Good morning, boys. Tommy aka White Knife: Good morning, Never Wears Bra. Never Wears Bra: I had dream about you last night, White Knife. Tommy aka White Knife: Oh, that's nice. Never Wears Bra: Not nice dream. In dream you naughty, you…

bra Dreams dirty dreams

Never Wears Bra: [Walks out of her tepee and stretches] Good morning, boys. Tommy aka White Knife: Good morning, Never Wears Bra. Never Wears Bra: I had dream about you last night, White Knife. Tommy aka White Knife: Oh, that's nice. Never Wears Bra: Not nice dream. In dream you naughty, you…

bra Dreams dirty dreams

Lil' Pete: Hey, friend. Need any help getting her out? Ramon: She's not really stuck, amigo. She's just a diversion. Lil' Pete: She's a virgin? I'm a virgin, too... unless you count cantaloupes. Ramon: I believe that, but she's a diversion to keep the banker busy so that my brother has time to rob…

virgin Diversion Misheard banker

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