Lucy: Did Alicia marry that guy? Marlin: yea. Henry: Doug, did you win the Mr. Hawaiian contest? Doug: I didn't know there wath gonna be a urine tethst. Lucy: [to Henry] Did we have sex? [Marlin and Doug look at Henry] Henry: No, we didn't. Just so everyone knows. [Marlin and Doug turn away] We want…
Catalog
Adam Sandler
Adam Richard Sandler (born September 9, 1966) is an American actor, comedian, screenwriter, film producer, and musician. After becoming a Saturday Night Live cast member, Sandler went on to star in many Hollywood feature films that combined have grossed over $2 billion at the box office. He is best known for his comedic roles, such as in the films Billy Madison (1995), the sports comedies Happy Gilmore (1996) and The Waterboy (1998), the romantic comedy The Wedding Singer (1998), Big Daddy (1999), and Mr. Deeds (2002), and voicing Dracula in Hotel Transylvania (2012) and Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015). He has ventured into more dramatic territory with his roles in Punch-Drunk Love (2002), Spanglish (2004), Reign Over Me (2007), and Funny People (2009). Sandler has released five comedy albums in his career. They're All Gonna Laugh at You! (1993) and What the Hell Happened to Me? (1996) are both certified double-platinum. In 1999, Sandler founded Happy Madison Production
Henry: Okay, this is her. Start beating me up. Make it look good. Ula: Give me your wallet. OK, haole, what do you think? You can come to this island, eat our pineapple? Henry: Help me! Not so hard. Take it easy. Ula: Try to bang our women. Making my sister clean your hotel room. Henry: OK. What…
Henry: I don't think that's an option, Lisa. Linda: Linda. Henry: I know. I changed your name for your protection.
Henry: [to Penguin] OK, pal. When she stops, just let her pet you. Look cute. Go to the middle of the road. Thank you. Right there. Perfect. Lucy: Oh, shit. Henry: Here she comes. Smile. Where is she? Oh, my God! Oh no! Okay that didn't work. Shit your pants? So did I!
Ula: Really? Even though in 10-15 years she could possibly let herself go and then sex would be like, nauseating, for you? Henry: What, are you nuts? Your wife's right over there. Ula: I'm just kidding, Muumuu!
Henry: [on First Date #1] You know, why don't you try this? It's a kind of hinge. Lucy: Now, why didn't I think of that? Henry: You're too close to the object. Don't be too hard on yourself. Lucy: You're right. Sometimes you need an outsider's perspective. Henry: Fresh eye never hurts. Lucy: I'm…
Old Hawaiian Man: Are you staring at me or her? 'Cause you're starting to freak me out. Henry: Settle down and eat your pancakes, huh.
Dr. Keats: All I know about walruses is that out of all mammals they have the second largest penis. I have the first. Henry: That's my joke.
Henry: See what happens when you play with sharks. Ula: Sharks are like dogs, they only bite when you touch their private parts.
Nick: Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups! Henry: Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-In-One-Punch!
Happy birthday, sir. What are you, like, 200 today?
Henry: It's gonna be all right, Luce. Lucy: [to Henry] Don't call me Luce. I barely know you. Marlin: Sweetie, you're sorta dating him. [Lucy looks at Henry] Henry: Sorry I'm not better-looking.
Henry: Appreciate your time. Not everybody would have stopped like you. You're real sweet. Lucy: Oh, yeah. Thank you. Henry: Okay. Lucy: Okay. [Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car] Henry: Hah! I can't believe you fell for that! Lucy: Well...my grandfather died while trying…
I love you very much, probably more than anybody could love another person.
Their just normal rich people who get to see the sandman naked.
The first rule when he got into office was to legalize marijuana meatloaf.
Say, honey: How ‘bout after this, we go someplace and I put my peepee in your teepee?
[last lines] Lil' Pete: Dear Mama, so much has changed since my last letter. I scarcely know where to begin. First off, it turns out our daddy is a bad, bad man, and he got thrown in jail. But it's okay, 'cause Screaming Eagle, the Indian chief who raised Tommy, said he'd be all our dads, too. I…
[last lines] Lil' Pete: Dear Mama, so much has changed since my last letter. I scarcely know where to begin. First off, it turns out our daddy is a bad, bad man, and he got thrown in jail. But it's okay, 'cause Screaming Eagle, the Indian chief who raised Tommy, said he'd be all our dads, too. I…
Abner DoubleDay: [after credits] Before you go...Two...four...six...eight...who do we appreciate? Chinese Baseball Team: [in unison] The Stockburns! The Stockburns! Yeah! The Stockburns!