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Adam Sandler

133 quotesActor · Born Sep 9, 1966 · United States Of America · Male

Adam Richard Sandler (born September 9, 1966) is an American actor, comedian, screenwriter, film producer, and musician. After becoming a Saturday Night Live cast member, Sandler went on to star in many Hollywood feature films that combined have grossed over $2 billion at the box office. He is best known for his comedic roles, such as in the films Billy Madison (1995), the sports comedies Happy Gilmore (1996) and The Waterboy (1998), the romantic comedy The Wedding Singer (1998), Big Daddy (1999), and Mr. Deeds (2002), and voicing Dracula in Hotel Transylvania (2012) and Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015). He has ventured into more dramatic territory with his roles in Punch-Drunk Love (2002), Spanglish (2004), Reign Over Me (2007), and Funny People (2009). Sandler has released five comedy albums in his career. They're All Gonna Laugh at You! (1993) and What the Hell Happened to Me? (1996) are both certified double-platinum. In 1999, Sandler founded Happy Madison Production

All breakfast (4)Gross (4)Shit (4)baseball (4)Ageism (3)Making Out (3)lisp (3)old balls (3)Dating (3)Dreams (3)Shortstop (3)boobs (3)ass (3)Abner Doubleday (2)Peanut Butter Cups (2)

From “Big Daddy ”

Hey! You just made the biggest mistake of your life, baby. I know you're gunna be missing me when you have that big, white, wrinkly body on you with his loose skin and old balls... gross! Ugh!

old balls loose skin Gross

What, you want a father figure? Stop pulling your sister's hair!

Father Figure hair puller

Sonny was real nice to the kid. Wish my father was like him. My father was a military man. Guess I wasn't such a good soldier. Anyways, when I was 35, he tried to give me a crew cut while I was asleep. I woke up, broke his arm, haven't seen him since. I'd rather live in a dumpster then under his…

McDonald's Crew Cut Dumpster OJ Simpson

Corinne: What's this I hear about you doing laundry with my sister? Sonny: Did she say we were doing laundry? Because where I come from, it's called 'doing the hibbidy-dibbidy.'

Laundry Double Entendres hibbidy-dibbidy

Julian: [after finding out he has to be taken from Sonny by the social services] You don't want me here anymore? Sonny: [close to tears] No, that's not it, pal. You just have to go away for a while. Julian: How long am I going away for? Sonny: [trying not to cry] I don't want to lie to you. I don't…

Social Services kangaroo song

Sonny: Say 'Happy Halloween'. Reluctant Trick-or-Treat Giver: Happy Halloween. Sonny: Yeah, next year be prepared!

Halloween Trick or Treat be prepared

Sonny: [Julian is bouncing up and down in front of the TV on a rubber ball] Hey. Julian: Hey! Sonny: You like hockey? Julian: You like hockey? Sonny: This is a big, important game. Julian: This is a big, important game! Sonny: Cut the crap. Julian: Cut the crap! Sonny: I'm being serious, don't do…

Repetition Hockey tongue twisters

Mr. Herlihy: Goddamn Jets! Waitress: Hey, cutie! What are you doing here? Julian: Watching football. Waitress: Oh yeah, who do you want to win? Julian: The Goddamn Jets.

Football New York Jets Goddamn

[Julian is taking a leak] Julian: How come you're not going? Sonny: Because I don't have to go. Only you and my grandfather go every thirty seconds.

Frequent Urination Prostate

Julian: I wipe my own ass. Nazo: Me, too.

wipe ass

[pointing to Vanessa's older lover] Sonny, is that the man with the old balls?

Ageism old balls

Julian: But after my nap I always watch the Kangaroo Song. Sonny: It's overtime right now and there's a penalty shot about to take place. This happens about once every ten years so... Julian: Kangaroo song, kangaroo song, kangaroo song, KANGAROO SONG! Sonny: ALLLRRIIIGGGHTT! God you were normal…

overtime penalty shot kangaroo song

...but I wipe my own ass, I wipe my own ass!

ass asswipe

[Julian and the Delivery Guy are learning how to read] Julian: Electricity! Constitution! Philadelphia! Nazo: Fish! Pony! Hip, Hip Hop, Hip Hop anonymous? Damn you! You gave him the easy ones.

Electricity Philadelphia US Constitution fish pony

[at McDonald's] Sonny: Okay, what do you want? Julian: Cheerios. Sonny: Cheerios? They don't got Cheerios. What else? Julian: Lasagna. Sonny: Lasagna? What the hell is the matter with you? Um, we'll take hot cakes and sausage... Employee: Sorry, sir, we stopped serving breakfast. Sonny: What are you…

breakfast hot cakes Sausage McDonald's horseshit

[Discussing Vanessa's new senior citizen boyfriend] Vanessa: He has a five-year plan. Sonny: What is it? 'Don't die'?

five-year-plan Senior Citizen Ageism

Sonny: You have a belly button, well we all have belly buttons. You know what? We all love Yoohoo, especially Yoohoo with a little rum. Jared: What's rum? Sonny: You don't know what Rum is? Jared: Rumplestilskin? Sonny: Rumplestilskin's a good man. So are you guys. Hey, stay clean, stay focused,…

Dad Quotes Movie Quotes

From “50 First Dates ”

Henry: I was petting my walrus all morning and I was thinking of you the whole time. Lucy: OK, pervert. I think that you should leave. Henry: What? I was just joking around because of what we talked about yesterday. Lucy: Yesterday? I've never even met you.

Pervert petting the walrus joking

Henry: Actually I'm not drunk at all, Noreen, and neither are you, because there's no alcohol in these drinks. Sadly, I've used this technique many times. It helps lovely tourists such as yourself loosen up without impairing your ability to stay awake all night and have guilt free vigorous sex with…

Drunk nonalcoholic drinks tourists Sex

Henry: And why is your foot on my pillow? Ula: Sorry, brah. [removes to reveal a dirty footprint and brushes it off, then sits on the pillow] Henry: And I don't want your ass on it, either!

Gross Foot pillow ass

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