“Ralph Kramden: Whatever happened to the sweet unspoiled girl I married before? Whatever happened to that girl, Alice? You remember what you said to me before we got married? 'Ralph, I'd be happy to live in a tent with you.' Alice Kramden: I'm still willing. I think it'd be an improvement. Ralph…”Tagged: To the moon, married, Marital Strife
“Ralph: [to Alice] I don't care if you've got any confidence, because I have enough confidence in me for the both of us! Alice Kramden: You've got enough everything in you for the both of us.”Tagged: Confidence, Fat-Shaming
“Alice Kramden: Let me tell you something. There's an old, old saying, Ralph: 'Man works from sun to sun, but woman's work is never done.' Ralph Kramden: [snootily] Good gosh! Alice Kramden: I'll tell you why woman's work is never done, Ralph. Because she's got the toughest boss in this whole world:…”Tagged: Marriage, Housewives, Bossy
“I am the only girl in town with an atomic kitchen. This place looks like Yucca Flats after the blast!”Tagged: Yucca Flats, Atomic Bomb, kitchen
“Alice: Boy, you men kill me; you're all alike. You push us around. You want us to bow and scrape at your feet. All you do is yell and scream and give orders. You men just think that you *own* this world! Ralph: Yeah, but you women get revenge. You marry us!”Tagged: Marriage, Revenge, Henpecking
“Alice Kramden: Trixie hasn't had any sleep in three nights. If she doesn't get some rest soon, she's just gonna waste away to nothing. Ralph Kramden: She didn't have any sleep in three nights? How about me? I haven't slept in three nights! She'll waste away? Don't you care if I waste away? Alice…”Tagged: Insomnia, Fat-Shaming
“Ralph: Just remember, you can't put you arms around a memory. Alice: I can't even put my arms around you.”Tagged: Fat-Shaming, Memories
“Alice Kramden: Now you listen to me, Ralph. My mother is coming here and you're going to be nice to her. Ralph Kramden: Be nice to her? That's impossible! We don't get along. We're enemies, natural enemies. Like a boa constrictor and a mongoose. She hates me, Alice! Alice Kramden: Ralph, Mother…”Tagged: Mother in Law, natural enemies
“Ralph: You're the type of person that would bend way over to pick up a penny on the sidewalk. I wouldn't. Alice: You couldn't.”Tagged: Cheap, Fat-Shaming
“Ralph Kramden: Now, you know I'm not that kind of a man. I'm not the kind that eats and runs. Alice Kramden: Eats and runs? The way you eat, you're lucky you can walk!”Tagged: Fat-Shaming
“Ralph: Yessir, this is the time I'm gonna get my pot of gold. Alice: Just go for the gold, you've already got the pot.”Tagged: pot of gold, Fat-Shaming
“Ralph: For the last time, Alice, I'm telling you, I'm going for the $99,000 question. Alice: For the last time, Ralph, I'll be very happy if you win the 600 bucks. Ralph: $600? Peanuts, peanuts! What am I gonna do with peanuts? Alice: Eat 'em, like any other elephant.”Tagged: Fat-Shaming