Clark: Real tomato ketchup, Eddie? Cousin Eddie: Oh, nothing but the best.
Catalog
Chevy Chase
Cornelius Crane "Chevy" Chase (/ˈtʃɛvi/; born October 8, 1943) is an American actor, writer, comedian and producer. Born into a prominent New York family, he worked a plethora of strange jobs before moving into comedy and began acting with National Lampoon. He immediately became a key cast member in the debut season of Saturday Night Live, where his recurring Weekend Update segment soon became a staple of the show. Chase is well known for his portrayal of the character Clark Griswold in five National Lampoon's Vacation films, and for his roles in comedies including Foul Play (1978), Caddyshack (1980), Seems Like Old Times (1980), Fletch (1985), Spies Like Us (1985), and ¡Three Amigos! (1986). He has hosted the Academy Awards twice (1987 and 1988) and briefly had his own late-night talk show, The Chevy Chase Show. He became a regular cast member as the character Pierce Hawthorne on the NBC comedy series Community, which began in 2009, though he left the show in 2012 after filming most of the episodes of the fourth season. 2Early life 3Family Chase was born in Lower Manhattan, New York, and was raised in Woodstock, New York. His father, Edward Tinsley "Ned" Chase, was a prominent Manhattan book editor and magazine writer. His mother, Cathalene Parker (née Browning), a concert pianist and librettist, was the daughter of Admiral Miles Browning, who most notably served as Rear Admiral Raymond A. Spruance's Chief of Staff on the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise (CV-6) at the Battle of Midway in World War II; she was adopted as a child by her stepfather, Cornelius Vanderbilt Crane, heir to The Crane Company, and took the name Cathalene Cran
Ellen Griswold: I honestly don't think you're going to find the Grand Canyon on this road. Clark: Jesus, it's only the biggest damn hole in the world. Aunt Edna: Clark, watch your language! Clark: Make that the second biggest.
Ellen Griswold: We're not really violent people. This is our first gun. Clark Griswold: No, it isn't.
Clark: We're from out of town. Man Giving Directions: No shit.
I'm making this out for one thousand dollars. All you have to do is give me 300 dollars in cash and keep 700 dollars, all for doing nothing more than acting like a total creep.
Lasky: Has your father ever killed anyone? Rusty: Just a dog. Oh, and my Aunt Edna. Clark: Hey you can't prove that, Russ.
I don't give a frog's fat ass who went through what. We need money! Hey, Russ, wanna look through Aunt Edna's purse?
[In Cousin Normy's backyard in the pouring rain] Ellen Griswold: We can't leave her on the patio! Clark: Would you rather I slipped her in the night deposit box at the funeral home?
Hey, hey, easy kids. Everybody in the car. Boat leaves in two minutes...or perhaps you don't want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth, which is only four short hours away?
Why aren't we flying? Because getting there is half the fun. You know that.
Ellen Griswold: Clark, let's just skip the House of Mud. I think Dodge City was enough fun for one day. Besides, Catherine and Eddie are expecting us. Clark: It's living history, Ellen. But if you'd rather see your cousins. Personally I'd rather see a pile of mud than Eddie.
Cousin Eddie: I don't know why they call this stuff Hamburger Helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than Tuna Helper myself, don't you, Clark? Clark: You're the gourmet around here, Eddie.
Clark: I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. You're gonna have fun, and I'm gonna have fun... We're all gonna have so much fucking fun…
Clark: Excuse me, could you please tell me how to get back on the expressway? Pimp: Fuck yo mama! Clark: Thank you very much.
Dusty Bottoms: Time for plan B. Plan A was to break into El Guapo's fortress. Carmen: And that you have done, now what? Dusty Bottoms: Well we really don't have a plan B. We didn't expect for the first plan to work. Sometimes you can over-plan these things.
Mr. Flugelman: Do you know what ‘nada’ means? Dusty Bottoms: Isn't that a light chicken gravy?
Do you have anything here besides Mexican food?
Rosita: Have you ever kissed a girl? Dusty Bottoms: Oh yeah, sure. Lots of times. Rosita: Would you like to kiss me? Dusty Bottoms: Yeah. Rosita: Well? Dusty Bottoms: What? Now? Here? Rosita: Well, we could take a walk and you could kiss me on the veranda. Dusty Bottoms: Lips would be fine.