“Peter Griffin: This party couldn't be better if Jesus was here. Jesus: For my next miracle, I will turn water... into FUNK.”Tagged: jesus, Funny, party, Snark
“I just want peace on Earth. That's better than being selfish like Meg, right? So I should get more than her.”Tagged: I Hate My Sister, Christmas Spirit, Holiday Spirit, Selfish
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all, shut the hell up!”Tagged: Holiday Spirit, Christmas, Snark, Sassy, Shut The Hell Up
“Brian Griffin: Seriously, who buys a novelty fire extinguisher? Peter Griffin: I'll tell you who: someone who cares enough about physical comedy to put his entire family into serious danger, that's who.”Tagged: Holiday Spirit, Merry Christmas, Dysfunctional Family
“So you can cook your own damned turkey, wrap your own damned presents - and while you're at it, you can all ride a one-horse open sleigh to Hell!”Tagged: Holiday Spirit, Merry Christmas, annoyed, angry
“Peter Griffin: Me? Go to a PTA meeting? What, are you high? Lois Griffin: Nah, not anymore, I crashed hours ago. By the way, we are out of chips, cookies, and funnybones.”Tagged: Sassy, high, Munchies, Parenting
“[to Meg] If there was a God would He give you a smokin' hot mom like Lois and then have you grow up looking like Peter?”Tagged: God, Don't Believe In God, Snark, SASS, Sassy
“Oh yeah? Can you read my mind? Can you tell what I'm thinking? I'm thinking shut up and get a salad!”Tagged: Can't Read Minds, shut up, Snark, SASS, Sassy