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George Costanza

185 quotesUnited States Of America · Male

George Louis Costanza is a character in the American television sitcom Seinfeld (1989–1998), played by Jason Alexander. He has variously been described as a "short, stocky, slow-witted, bald man" (by Elaine Benes and Costanza himself) and "Lord of the Idiots" (by Costanza himself). George and Jerry were junior high school friends and remained friends afterwards. He is friends with Jerry Seinfeld, Cosmo Kramer, and Elaine Benes. George appears in every episode except "The Pen" (third season). The character was originally based on Seinfeld co-creator Larry David but is surnamed after Jerry Seinfeld's real-life New York friend, Mike Costanza. Alexander reprised his role in an episode of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, reuniting with Jerry Seinfeld and Wayne Knight (also reprising their roles as Jerry and Newman, respectively). 2Early life and family George is the son of Frank (Jerry Stiller), an Italian-American and Estelle Costanza (Estelle Harris), presumably Jewish-American. George twice mentions that he has a brother (although never again after season 3). Lloyd Braun is his childhood nemesis who George feels was the son his parents always wante

All Dating (16)Attraction (11)Sex (10)Self-deprecation (6)Breakups (6)Relationships (6)Women (5)Baldness (5)Lesbianism (4)Revenge (4)Irony (4)Mental Illness (4)lying (4)New York Yankees (3)Employment (3)

From “The Boyfriend”

It's not so much the looking as the listening. I listen for work. And as I'm looking and listening I am also looking. You can't discount looking. It's sort of a combination. It's looking and listening, listening and looking. But you must look.

Employment Job Hunt

You know what I would like to do? I would really like to have sex with a tall woman. I mean really tall. Like a like a giant Like six-five.

Macrophilia Fetish Giantesses

From “The Limo”

Astroturf? You know who's responsible for that, don't you?! The Jews! Ah, the Jews hate grass. They always have, they always will.

Astroturf Anti-Semitism

From “The Good Samaritan”

I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special.

Special Not Special Self-deprecation

From “The Parking Space”

No, no, this is a matter of principle. That would just be saying that anybody could just pull into any parking space any way they want. Well I'm making a stand here. I'm saying ‘no’ to head-first parking. I'm not putting up with that. We put up with too much crap in this city, we're not putting up…

Principle Parking

You don't understand. A garage. I can't even pull in there. It's like going to a prostitute. Why should I pay, when if I apply myself, maybe I could get it for free?

Parking prostitution Cheapness

From “The Trip”

It was an old cat. It died of natural causes. So get this, now she tells me that I gotta buy her a brand-new cat. I say listen, honey. First of all, it was a pretty old cat. I'm not gonna buy you a brand-new cat to replace an old dying cat. And second of all, I go out to the garbage, I find you a…

Domestic Disputes cats

Yes, I like to just be able to take the blankets and swish them and swirl them, you know what I mean? You know, I don't like being all tucked in. I like to have a lot of room, you know I like to have my toes pointed up in the air. Just like to scrunch up the blankets.

Bedsheets Tuck or No Tuck

I happen to dress based on mood.

Fashion Mood

I hate asking for change. They always make a face. Like I'm asking them to donate a kidney.

Making Change Money

What am I scared of? I'm scared of the same thing that you are, everything.

Fear Paranoia Anxiety

From “The Pitch”

Russell Dalrymple: So, what have you guys come up with? Jerry: Well, we thought about this in a variety of ways, but the basic idea is I would play myself… George: May I…? Jerry: Go ahead. George: I think I can sum up the show for you with one word: nothing. Russell Dalrymple: Nothing? George:…

Nothing Minimalism

I think I can sum up the show for you with one word: NOTHING.

Nothing

They're men with jobs, Jerry! They wear suits and ties. They're married, they have secretaries.

Business Marriage

Everybody's doing something; we'll do nothing.

Nothing

OK, uh, look, if you want to just keep on doing the same old thing, then maybe this idea is not for you. I, for one, am not going to compromise my artistic integrity. And I'll tell you something else, this is the show and we're not going to change it.

Artistic Integrity Integrity

From “The Virgin”

You know, they always remember the first time. I don't want to be remembered. I wanna be forgotten.

Virginity first time Being Forgotten

Would you believe my luck? The first time in my life I have a good answer to the question, ‘What do you do?’ and I have a girlfriend. I mean, you don't need a girlfriend when you can answer that question. That's what you say in order to get girlfriends. Once you can get a girlfriend, you don't want…

girlfriends status Employment

From “The Movie”

Um, excuse me, have you see a guy with like a horse face, big teeth, and, uh, and a pointed nose?

Caricatures

From “The Visa”

But, but I'm disturbed! I'm depressed! I'm inadequate! I got it all!

Disturbed Depression Inadequacy Attraction

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