Quote
Catalog

Gregg Kavet

39 quotesFilm Director · United States Of America · Male

Gregg Kavet is a writer and director who worked on NBC's Seinfeld for several seasons with collaborator Andy Robin. The team wrote episodes including "The Jimmy", "The Hot Tub", "The Caddy", "The Bottle Deposit", "The Fatigues", "The Comeback", "The Nap", and "The Slicer". The Fatigues won the 1997 Writers Guild of America Award for best television comedy. 2Biography Kavet and Robin wrote and directed the feature film Live Free or Die. This independent film won the Jury Prize for best narrative at the 2006 South By Southwest Film Festival and was awarded the Jury Prize in New American Cinema at the 2006 Seattle International Film Festival. They also wrote the 2005 Simon Spotlight book Saving Face, a humorous guide to awkward social situations. Kavet grew up in Wayland, Massachusetts, attending Wayland High School and Harvard University. He currently lives in Los Angeles. 2Work on Seinfeld All written in collaboration with Andy Robin, unless otherwise note

All Threats (4)Zingers (3)Bastard (3)Cooking (2)Profanity (2)Moles (2)Sick Burns (2)Psychosis (2)Comebacks (2)Son of a Bitch (2)Psychotic (2)Freckles (2)Gluttony (1)Industrialist (1)Texas Beef (1)

From “The Fatigues”

Inchon, Korea, 1950. I was the best cook Uncle Sam ever saw, slinging hash for the Fighting 103rd. As we marched north, our supply lines were getting thin. One day a couple of GIs found a crate, inside were six hundred pounds of prime Texas steer. At least it once was prime. The use date was three…

Inchon north korea Uncle Sam Korean War Texas Beef

From “The Comeback”

The ocean called. They're running outta shrimp.

Comebacks Zingers

Yeah, because you're perfect. You're a calculating, coldhearted businesswoman. And when there's dirty work to be done, you don't mind stomping on a few throats.

Coldhearted Dirty Work Machiavellian Cutthroat

Sometimes in life, the gods smile upon you, my friends.

Zingers Sick Burns Comeuppance Revenge Fate

Trust me, Kramer. Given the legal opportunity, I will kill you.

Threats Murder

Listen to the comeback. ‘Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called. They're running outta you.’

Comebacks Zingers Sick Burns

From “The Nap”

I love a good nap. Sometimes it's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning.

Nap Sleeping

Just let me ask you something. Is it ‘FebRUary’ or ‘FebUary’? Because I prefer ‘FebUary,’ and what is this ‘ru’?

Pronunciation february

Because I'm REFRESHED. I finally found a way to sleep in my office. Under the desk. I lie on my back. I tuck in the chair. I'm invisible.

Loafing Naps Office

From “The Slicer”

Moles—freckles' ugly cousin.

Moles Freckles Ugly Cousin Melanoma

George: You’ve got to apologize. Jerry: Why? George: Because it’s the mature and adult thing to do. Jerry: How does that affect me?

Apologies mature adult Selfish

I've seen moles so big they have their own moles. Freckles that cover two men.

Dermatology Moles Freckles

You call yourself a lifesaver. I call you pimple popper MD!

Dermatologists Acne

From “The Frogger”

Mr. Peterman: Elaine, can you keep a secret? Elaine: No sir, I can’t.

Candor Secrets

What is nice? Trying to fill the void in your life with flour and sugar and egg and vanilla? I mean, we are all unhappy. Do we have to be fat, too? Not you, Becky; I know you have a slow metabolism. I don't want one more piece of cake in my office!

Gluttony Sweets Cake Sugar Weight Gain

I had to take a sick day. I'm so sick of these people.

Sick Days Coworkers

From “The Puerto Rican Day”

We don’t know how long this will last. They are a very festive people.

Puerto Ricans Festive

Do you know what day this is? Because I know what day this is, they know what day this is, so I was wondering if you know what day this is!

Puerto Rican Day Thugs Threats

Uh, yes, most likely, yes. I'm, uh, H. E. Pennypacker. I'm a wealthy industrialist and philanthropist and, uh, a bicyclist. And, um, yes, I'm looking for a place where I can settle down with my, uh, peculiar habits, and, uh, the women that I frequent with.

Wealth Industrialist Philanthropy

M M WK &KK K& & WM MMWW& K & MWWW &WMWWKWW K & M MMWWWWW KWWMWWWWWWK &K KK&KKKK&M K WWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWW&KK KMMMM&K KM& KWWWWWWWWWWWW&&& KWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWWWW&KMMMM&K K&K K&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&WWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWMMMMWMMW&&&&&K &&K & WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&&MMMM&&&K&&KK&K K&M&&WWWWWW&KMMWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&&K&&K&&KKKKKKKK&& K&&KMMMMWM&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&K&&K&KKK KKK&K K&KMMMW&WWWWWWW&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&&M&&KK KKK KK &&&&MMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&MKK &&&KK KKK K&M&MMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM& KK KM& KK&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWMK KK&KK&MM&M&K KMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&K KMMMWWM&KK &KKMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&&&M& KMWWWWWWWWWWWWWMKK KM &&&&M&MM&&MMMWMWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMK&MKKKKKK &&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&K K KKKK K K KMWMMWWWWWWWWWW&KK&K&& K&MWWWWM& K K&KMM&MWWWWWWWWWM&&K K&&KK &K&MMMWWWWMK KWWWWWWWM& MW KKKK K&WWW& &MMWWMM&K & WWW KWM K&& KKKKK K WWK K&&&M&K KK KK KWW K K K KMWMKKKKKK K KW WWWWK KKK&KKK &&K &KMMKK&K &KMMWW&K&M&KKK &M M& K&KKK&K K&KKKK&&MWWWWWWMM& K& KKK&WMWWWM&&&&K K K &KKK&MMMWM&K&&K K&KK&&&K K KKKK&&&M&&&&MM&KK&&M&MMWWWM&&&&K &KK KWWWWWWWWW&K KKK& K&K K&&&WMMMWWWWWWWWMMMMMM&MWMWMM&&&&K KMM&K&KK KK&&&&&&KK KK&K&&K K&KK&&MMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWWMWWMM&&KK K K&MMMM&&K&&MMMMMMMMM&&KKK KKKKKKK K&MMMMWMWWMWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMM&&& K K&MMM&&MMMMMWWWWWWWWMM&&KK KK&&KKK KMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&M&KK K MWMW& KKMMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&&& K&&&KKKK &WMMWWWWWWMWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMM&&K WWWWW K&MMMWWMWWMWMWWWWWWWWWM&MK KK&&MM&KK &MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&K && WWWWWWWMWW K&MMWWMMMMWWWWWWWWMWWWMMMK K&&MMWMMM&K &MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&K MW MWWWWWWWMWW &&MWWMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMK K&WWWWWWWM&&K KWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWWWWWM&&K WW&K WWWWWWWMMWW &&WWMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMW&K &MWWWWWWWWWWMK MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWM&&K MW WWWWWWWWWW&W& KMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWMM &WWWWWWWWWM&KKK MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMMM&KK W&MWWWWWWWWWWWW

,.. . , : ,..: ,,, . . ::,. ,: , , :: , ,, , ., .. ., .,, .. . . , . . . , ., , . : : , : : :, ... . , :. . . , . .,.,: :, , . .. , : , . , .. :.. , . .:. : : :, , , . ..,:, : .: . : . : . . :: ,.. ,.. . : , ,, . , , ., ,,,:: ,, ,,. .. ,: . : , :,.. , . ,:: ,.., : ., :. : :. :...,,::., , ,: . .: :: , .... . . ..:. .:: . :, : . .,:. , , . ,: : . , ..: , .. ,:, , ,.,., :: :, .., : .. ::.: ,: : ,: :. , : ... .. , ,..,.. ..:, ,::: ,:: .. ,,. , :, . .::.:,,.,, .. .... ,:::: .,:: : .,, . :. , :. ,. , ,, . ,. ,::::: ..,: : ,, ,: :, , .:. . :, ::.:.. . , ,::::::: .,,: ,,: . : , : : .: .,,, ., . . ,::::::: .,:: :. . , . .,. , , ,. : . .,::::: ..,: . . : . ,,: :,, ., .. ,, . : :: .,,: ,. : . : :: .,,, ,:: ..,: . , . : . ,. ., , . : ..,:: : ..., :. , :. . , :.. .. , : .,:: ,,. . .. :: .., :. ,. :: ..,: : :. : . , :, . ,. . .,,.: ..,: .:, .: .. :,. . . ., : .,:: . : :,,, . . . : ., .,:: , ,: ,. , .., ., ::: .,:: . . .:: ..,: , ,. . ,, .,: ..,,: , ...: . ,. ., , ,: .,,: . , , ,: . ,:: . .,,: , . ,:,: .. ..,,: . , . ,.. .,.,,:: . ..,,: : .,..,:: . . . ...,,,: :,, . ...,,: . ........,,::: : . ... ...,,::

********}}}}}}}}}}}}}} < ~ } <<* } *} * } }}< * ~~ }<}*~< * << <<**}} ********}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}< < }}} * } < ~~* *~ * << ~ } ~<~ <<***}} <******}}}}}}}}}} }} ~ ~** }} < }<< * * } * *} ~<* * } ~~ ~< < ~<<***}} <******}}}}}}}}} }}}} < ~ } * ~ < * }* *<~ } } }* <<<***}} <*****}*}}}}}}} } * }~ } } *} ~* }* ~ < ~<<<***}} <<***}}}}}}}} ~ }} }* } } * < ~ ~~~<~<<*}} <<<***}}}}}}} } * < *~ ~* ~ ~~~<<<**}} ~<<***}}}}}}} * ~ } ** < } ~~~~<<<**} ~<<***}}}}}} * <} ~~ } } ~~~~<<**}} ~~<<**}}}}} }~ ~<< } ~ < ~~~~<<<**}} ~<<**}}}} } ~ ~~ } * ~ ~* ~~~~~~~<***} ~<<**}}} < **< ~ ~~~~<<***}} ~~<<**}} ~ * ~} ~~~~<<**}} ~~<**}} * ** ~ ~~~~<<**} ~<<**} } * ~ ~ ~ * ~~~<<**}} ~~<<*}} } * < } }}* ~ < ~~<<**}} ~<<**}} < < ** ~ }}}} ~ <}~~ ~~<<**}} ~<<**} * *} * ~~ ~~<<**}} ~~<**}} } * } **<<<}<}} < < ~ ~~<<**}} ~<<**}} ** ~} } }} <*}}}}} } }**} < } }~ }* ~~<<**} ~<***}} }< < <<} }<***}} } <} ~< ~ *} }~ ~} ~ ~~~<<**}} ~<**}} * <* *}*<~*} *~ }~*}} }<* < * ~ ~<<<**} ~<**}}} } } ~ < }< <}~* }} } * <} < *~ ~~<**}} ~<<**}} < <* ~ < } } ~ <}~ ~~<<**}} ~<<**}} } } } ~*} } *~ < ~~<<**}} ~<<**}}}} < } } <<~ ~* ~~~<<***} ~<***}**}} * } }}<* ~~<<**} ~<**}}}**~ } } }*<< ~~<<**} ~~<****}}*~ < }} << < ~~<<*}} ~~<***}}**} } * < ~~<<**}} ~~<<**}**< } } ~~*<~*} ~~<<**}} ~~<***** } }} ** * ~~<<**}} ~~~<*** } } * } ~~<<**}} ~~~<<< ~ * }*} } ~<<***} ~~~<< ~~ } }}} } ~~<<**}} ~<< ~ * } } * ~<<**}

j Uo V oU jjjjjoooojjjjjjjjj j ojjo VV oo U o jVjjooj j U jjjjjoojojjjjjjjj jjj j o j oo VUUoj jj oU jjjjjjoojjjjjjjj j j j V V j j o j j jjjj oVooj V UUo jjjjooojjjjjjjj jjj jo o U Vj j oU oUo V jjjjjojjjjjjjj jjjjjjo V U V V U j Vojoo U U jjjjooooojjjjj jjjj j oo ojojV o U Vj jjjjooooojjjj jjjjjj j j o U o jjjjooooojjjj jjjjjjj ooU UVoVVo UoVU o jjjjjjoojjjj jjjjjjjj joVoU V jjjjjoojjjj j jjjjjjjj o VoV VUUU V jjjjooojjjj jjjjjjjjjj oUooU U UUUVU UVUo jjoooojjj jjjjjjjjjjj VVVU UV U UUUVVUUVUVj jjjjjoojjo jjjjjjjjjj jVVVV VV UUo UUUUUVVVUooVVVoVo jjjjjoojjj jjjjjjjjjj o jVVVVU UUVVUVUU UUUUooooojVVooVo o jjjjoojjj jjjjjjjjjj VVVoVU Vjj jj jVU UooUUVjoVooVooooV jjjjjojjj jjjjjjojjj ooooVU Ujj o VjoooooooVVVoVo jjjjjojjj jjjjjjjojo jojo U UUU UUVjjoVVoUVoVUo jj jjjjjjjjj jjjjjjojo ojVU V UV U UUojooVUUU UVoj ooU UUU UVVVVVVVoVUUUo j jjjjjoojj jjjjoojj o o ooUUUUoj j jVU Voj oj jo jV UUUUUVVVVUVVUUUUV jjjjjjjojj jjjjooj j oV oj joVUU UUUVojojoVo j Uj jVUUUUUVUVUUU UUUV jjjjjjjjj jjjjojj jj oUV Uj oV jo UVUVoooU jVU oUoVVoU U UUU U jjjjjoojj jjj j VojojoUU Uo jjj jjU UooVVoU U U VU UojVoVVU U UUUj V jjjjooojj jjjjo jooooVUU V o j Uj oU UojooVV VoVVVUUUUU VooVUUoU Vj jjjjojooj jj j ooVVVVVUUo jVoV j UojjUU jo UUVjjoojjV U UUU UVVj V jjjjojooj jj ooV UVVVVoV o U Vj jU UVoooVVojooVU UU UVVo jjjjoojjj VVUU UVVjVjV UVojjj oV U VoVVojVUUVoVUU UUo jjjjojooj VVUU UU UUUoVojj oUU UoooVVoUU U VV jjjoooooj VVU VVo oVU UVoooVVVU U UVVV jjjoooooj VVU Vjj oV UVUoooVVUU UU UVV jjoooooj UVU Vjj jo VojoooVVUV UUVUVVo U jjjjoooj VVV Vjj V UVo VVVUU VoUVUVoUoo o o V jjjjjjoj oU Vo o UVj oVVU UUVVVUUVUoo j UUj jjjjjoo VV Vjj Uo jo VooVUUUVVoj j o jjjjjjj oU U V VVo j UooVUUUUooo j U jjjjjj jV V V UUVoj U VooVUUVVjoo o jjjjjj

W WWW KWWWWK MWWWWM&K&W&&M WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMM&&&M MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&KK & K&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM K &K K&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWM& WWWWMK KK KWWWWWW&& MW& K MM KWWM W KKKK WM &&K K K KMK &WM&K MWWW& K&&K K&MWWWW&MMWM&K KMM&&MMMM& &&K &MWWWWWWWWWWWMK &MWWWWWWM& KM&K KWWWWWWWWWWWW&K KWW KMWWWWWWWWM KWWWMK KWWWWWWWWWWWW& &&MWWWW WWWWWWWWWW KWWWMKK WWWWWWWWWWWMK WWWWW KWWWWWWWWM MWWWWWWWWWW& MWWMWW W MWWWWWWWMK K KMK MMWWWWWWWWWMK WWWWW WW KMWWWWWW&M &WWWWM&K&&WWWWWWWM&& WWWW &W KWWWWWW&&&WWWWWWWWWMWWWWWMWM&M&K WM K&WMWWW&MWMMMMMKK K&MWWWWWMKKMK& & K &&WWM &WWM& K& K M &MWW K&&& K&WWMMM MK K&MM &MMK&&MMMMM&M&K &&K M K && K&&&&&K KKK WW KKK KK&&K WWW K K K KWWWW WWWWMMWMM WWWMM&WMKW MWMM&&M&&KM

. ,::::, . : : ,. ,, . ,. , . : , . ,: .,, , , : . . : :,,., : : .,, , . , : .. , , . ,, , :. . , . ,: , ., : .: : : , .. .,,,. : : , , . .,. .: , : . :, : : , .: , . , . . .: . . ., , . .: . . . .. .,: . : , ......, . ,: . ...,.,: : :. ,. .,: .....,...: :.: .: .....,,,.,,: . ....,,,,,..,. ,,. . .....,,,,,. ,, . , .. ...,,.... : . , ,. ...,.... ,, ,, :. .: :, ...... :: , . . ,: :, .... , .: :. , , : , :, . . , :, ., : :. ,. :: ,. ..: :::

***}}}}} ~ < ~<** < ~ < <*} ***}}}} ~ * ~~ * <*} <*}}}} ~ } < ~<*} <*}}} } ~~<* <*}} * ~ ~~<*} ~*} ~~ ~ ~ ~*} <*} < } * ~ ~<* ~<} } }*}} ~* ~<* ~*} }} < }** ** < ~~ ~<* <*} < }~ } * ~~ ~<* <*} } *~ ~<* <}}< } * < ~<* <*} * } <* ~<*} ~<* ~ } } ~*} < } } <*} ~ <} }}* ** }} ~ <} } ~*} < < } ~*} }<< ~ ~* ~*} }***~<<*}<~ } }* * <* ~ < } ~ } <*} **~ }< < ~<*}} ***<~ }< } ~ ~<**}} ****<<~ *} **}}*<< *}}} ******<~ <*} *~*<<<} * <<****<<<~ <} }}< ~~<* ~ <<<<<<<*<<~~ <} }< ~<**} ~~~~~<<<<<<<~~ < < <*} }<~ <**}}}

j jjV V o j jjjjjjj jj oV jU j o oVooUU jjjjjj jj V jjjjj jjj jVVoVjjU jjjjj jjo oV VU U jjjj jjjo jV U U UVooUo jjjj jjjj oo o jU VjoooV jjjj jjjo oV VVojV Uj jU UVoVV j jjjj jjo U V j UVoVV j oVV U jjjj jo ooU U o U joU U UU oVV U jjjj j jUUVoo Uo ooVVU V jjoo j Uj U oVU UV jjoo U j jjV VVo o V joo j j VoUo joo V Vj jVVo U j jo VVj Vo VjVo jj V oo oV U V VoVo j V o U UUVj j j o jo U jo j V U Uj o jo V U j U U V U jjo UUV o oU UU UVUUVUo V jj oVoV UU UVVVoVV j j oojVUU UVU VVU UVojojjo o o jjoVUUU UV UVoo oUUUUVj joVUU UUUUU UUVjj oV UVVV j j joVUUUUUUUVo jjVVVVVoo j joVVVVooo jooVVVoo U j jj jjooooo V

Related People