“Bob: Linda, there are animal anuses all over our walls! Linda: Just think of them as cute little rumps. Bob: Lin, they're anuses. I'm trying to think of worse paintings to hang in a restaurant. Um, nope, I can't think of any!”Tagged: Anuses, Modern Art, Painting, Anus Paintings, Paintings Made By Anuses
“Bob: I had to get away from those anuses for a while. Tina: You mean Mort and Teddy? Bob: Um, no. Gail's paintings.”Tagged: Bad Art, Disses On Bad Art
“Gene: It's the documentarian who hates Dad and puts wigs on cows! Tina: Werner Herzog?”Tagged: Werner Herzog, Documentarian, Wigs
“Bob: You're not a girl! Gene: Tell that to my vagina!”Tagged: Girls, Vaginas, Tell That To My Vagina
“Linda: Yeah, it's a little weird, but it's his selection process. Tina: It's like The Bachelor, except at the end, the one he chooses gets eaten.”Tagged: the bachelor, Turkeys, Selection Process
“Mr. Fischoeder: She left me for a married oil magnate. And then a married movie magnate. Tina: She's a magnate magnet.”Tagged: Magnets, Magnates, Wordplay
“Well, Your Honor, I couldn't see the meter because there was a kid standing in front of it. And he was exactly....meter-sized...”Tagged: Alibis, Parking Meters
“Tina: And his face? Louise: It's so gross I want to slap it. I wanna slap it. I just wanna slap his hideous, beautiful face! Tina: You mean 'kiss?' Louise: No, I mean 'slap.' Tina: Whoa. You got it bad, girl.”Tagged: kiss, Slap, Falling In Love, Infatuation
“Oh, right! Because that's what Thanksgiving is all about—running around with a bunch of stupid birds and going on rides. Fine, go. But you know what? I am not making dinner!”Tagged: Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Dinner
“Kissing is one of the great parts of life, like dancing. Or rainy days. Or those croissants Meryl Streep made in that movie. We don't have to not kiss. We just have to smart kiss.”Tagged: Kissing, Smart Kissing, Meryl Streep, Croissants, Rainy Days
“Felix: What do you want? Louise: A lot of things, Felix, but right now I want money for a dog. Felix: You owe money to a dog?”Tagged: wishes, Wish List, Money, dog, Misheard
“Wow, running with a coffee table's hard. No wonder no one does that.”Tagged: Exhausted, Coffee Tables, Absurd