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Dan Mintz

20 quotesFilm Actor · Born Sep 25, 1981 · United States Of America · Male

Daniel Alexander Mintz (born September 25, 1981) is an American comedian, voice actor and writer best known for his role as Bob's oldest daughter Tina Belcher on the animated show Bob's Burgers. As a comedian, he is known for his extremely deadpan delivery, keeping his eyes fixed straight ahead and never looking toward the camera or audience. Born to a Jewish family, Mintz grew up in Anchorage, Alaska. He is a graduate of Harvard University, where he wrote for the Harvard Lampoon. He landed his first writing job at Comedy Central's Crank Yankers, then worked on Last Call with Carson Daly. He has written for The Andy Milonakis Show, Human Giant, Lucky Louie, Important Things with Demetri Martin, Jon Benjamin Has a Van, Nick Swardson's Pretend Time, Nathan For You, The Awesomes and Mulaney. His writing credits also include the Bob's Burgers episode titled "The Equestranauts". On May 16, 2007, Mintz appeared on Late Night with Conan O'Brien. His standup comedy appeared on the comedy compilation CD Comedy Death-Ray, and a special for Comedy Central Presents aired on March 28, 2008. In February 2013, he performed standup on Late Show With David Letterma

All Cows (1)Kids' Stuff (1)Absurd (1)Evil (1)Bad Art (1)Witch Please (1)Threats (1)Magnates (1)Magnets (1)Heroes (1)Slap (1)Frowny Face (1)Ruth (1)Crying Into Your Butt (1)Croissants (1)

From “Sacred Cow”

Frowny face? All I've been is super nice to you and this is the thanks I get? I loved you, I loved you like a horse, which is my favorite animal. You know what, let's just stop before we both say something we'll regret, like that horses are better than cows. I regret that, but it's true.

Frowny Face horses Cows

From “Art Crawl”

Bob: I had to get away from those anuses for a while. Tina: You mean Mort and Teddy? Bob: Um, no. Gail's paintings.

Bad Art Disses On Bad Art

From “Lobsterfest”

I already picked a corner for the bathroom. That one, where I went.

Urination bathroom corner

From “Moody Foodie”

Time for the charm bomb to explode.

Charm Bomb

From “Bad Tina”

Don't have a crap attack!

Crap Attack

From “Ear-sy Rider”

You don't want to mess with my sister. She'll wear down your self-esteem over a period of years.

little sister Self-Esteem

From “An Indecent Thanksgiving Proposal”

Mr. Fischoeder: She left me for a married oil magnate. And then a married movie magnate. Tina: She's a magnate magnet.

Magnets Magnates Wordplay

From “Boyz 4 Now”

I'm no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else.

Bras Heroes boobs

Tina: And his face? Louise: It's so gross I want to slap it. I wanna slap it. I just wanna slap his hideous, beautiful face! Tina: You mean 'kiss?' Louise: No, I mean 'slap.' Tina: Whoa. You got it bad, girl.

kiss Slap Falling In Love Infatuation

Your ass is grass. And I'm gonna mow it.

Ass is Grass Threats

From “The Unnatural”

I love espresso, coffee, caffeinated teas, and then Jimmy Jr. In that order.

Priorities Coffee Espresso Caffeinated Tea

From “My Big Fat Greek Bob”

It's a man cave. And Tina's going spelunking.

Man Caves Spelunking

From “Presto Tina-O”

‘Danger’ is my middle name. But I spell it R-U-T-H.

danger Ruth Absurd Anti-Jokes

From “Mazel-Tina”

I need fresh faces. And fresh butts.

Fresh Faces Fresh Butts

From “The Equestranauts”

Teddy: Hey, Bob. You going to Equestra-Con? Bob: Uh, no, Teddy. Because that's a convention for little girls that like toy horses. Teddy: Beg to differ, Bob. It's for guys that like toy horses. They're called ‘Equesticles.’ Bob: ‘Equesticles?’ Teddy: Yeah, 'cause they got testicles. 'Cause they're…

Equesticles Equestrian

From “Tina and the Real Ghost”

Tammy: Where's Tina? At home, crying into her butt? Tina: No. My butt is dry. And strong.

Dry Butt/Strong Butt Crying Into Your Butt Sarcasm Resilience

From “The Hormone-iums”

Kissing is one of the great parts of life, like dancing. Or rainy days. Or those croissants Meryl Streep made in that movie. We don't have to not kiss. We just have to smart kiss.

Kissing Smart Kissing Meryl Streep Croissants Rainy Days

From “Teen-a-Witch”

Mr. Ambrose: Ugggh! You've been a witch for what? Two days? Take it down a notch! You're playing with powerful forces; this is not kids' stuff. Tina: I am powerful forces. Mr. Ambrose: Witch, please!

Witches Evil Kids' Stuff Witch Please

From “The Quirk-ducers”

Louise Belcher: How you doing, girl? Tina Belcher: Um, not great. I feel like my soul has diarrhea.

Diarrhea of the Soul

From “Ex Mach Tina”

Jimmy Junior: Tinabot, commence to the AV closet. I want to show you something. It's something I haven't shown anyone. Not even Zeke. Tina: Wow, a secret, and a zekeret.

Puns Secrets

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