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Scott Marder

16 quotes

All Diss (2)Sassy (2)abs (1)Dong (1)Mr. Steal Your Girlfriend (1)Glue (1)Deodorant (1)Free The Nipple (1)In Shape (1)Sneaky (1)mistake (1)testicles (1)muscles (1)Showing Off (1)Pick Up Women (1)

From “Our A-Story Is A 'D' Story”

Oh, how did I figure it out? Well, I just followed the clues, used deduction, puzzle-solving, a little bit of forensics, and also, what did I do? Oh, I listened to the voicemail you left me saying you were stealing the D because of Diane so I could, and I quote, "Suck your D"!

Mr. Peanutbutter: Admit it! You like my girlfriend. BoJack Horseman: Oh, come on. I mean, am I attracted to her? Sure. Do my days feel better when I'm around her? Yeah. Does she get me in ways no woman ever has? Indubitably. Do I fantasize about her? Yes, but only in two positions. Look, am I the…

Girlfriend Mr. Steal Your Girlfriend

From “The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation”

Dee: Those goddam North Koreans. Dennis: They are some sneaky bastards.

Sneaky

Charlie: Ohhhhhhhh shit! Look at that door, dude. See that door there? The one marked 'Pirate?' You think a pirate lives in there? Dennis: I see a door marked 'Private.' Is that the door you're talking about?

Sassy Pirate private mistake

From “Frank Sets Sweet Dee On Fire”

We set the building on fire, you just happened to catch on fire!

Fire Building Burnt

From “Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person”

Glue is for huffing, dude!

Glue Huffing

From “The Gang Dances Their Asses Off”

Mac: I do not even understand the smell coming from your body, dude. Charlie: Oh my God, dude, relax. Dude, I forgot to put on deodorant, okay? Mac: I have never once, never once seen you wear deodorant, Charlie, never once. Charlie: Yeah well, you never seen me once wash my testicles either but…

Smells Deodorant Washing testicles

From “Who Pooped the Bed?”

The outcast. The slut. The bitch. The whore. The lonely, sad, slutty, bitchy whore. You sat on the sideline while these four titans battled it out. You were jealous that a few pieces of poop got more attention than you.

Outcast Diss Jealousy Confrontation Attention

Im gonna take my bra off, blast my nips.

Nips Free The Nipple bra Women

From “Sweet Dee Has a Heart Attack”

Dennis: You know what I'm concerned about? I don't want to get too bulky. I want to stay nice and lean and tight. I want to get that Jesus on the cross look. Dee: I see what you're saying. I think that crucifixion must have been really good for your core. Dennis: Oh absolutely. Jesus had like the…

abs jesus lean In Shape muscles

See you, Coach Dick and Balls.

Diss Sassy coach Instructor Insult

You wanna talk about stress? You wanna talk about stress?! Okay! I've stumbled onto a major company conspiracy, Mac--how 'bout that for stress?

Stress company Conspiracy Stressed Out

From “The D.E.N.N.I.S. System”

D: Demonstrate Value E: Engage Physically N: Nurture Dependence N: Neglect Emotionally I: Inspire Hope S: Separate Entirely

strategy Pick Up Women Game Plan

Oh whoops, ooh! I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong!

condom Dongs Oops accident Showing Off

Frank: See, I would have gone in and bought a box of magnum condoms, thus demonstrating I have a monster dong. Dennis: Right, that comes off a little bit desperate, Frank.

condoms Dong Desperate

From “How Mac Got Fat”

Charlie: Why were you sleeping in? Mac: Oh, God. Well, because I drank three bottles of champagne and hung out with a stray dog all night under a bridge, okay? It was sweet.

Drunk champagne dog sweet

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