“Little Rock: Have you heard about Pacific Playland? There are no zombies there. Columbus: The amusement park? Little Rock: Yep! Tallahassee: That place totally blows! [Little Rock and Wichita shoot Tallahassee angry looks] ...my mind. Just fun for the whole family.”Tagged: pacific playland, Amusement Park, that blows
“Columbus: You know there’s a place untouched by all this crap? Tallahassee: Back East, yeah? Columbus: Yeah. Yeah. You heard the same thing? Tallahassee: Out west, we hear it’s back East. Back east, they hear it’s out West. It’s all just nonsense. You know, you’re like a penguin on the North Pole…”Tagged: east, West, North Pole, Penguins, South Pole
“[Columbus kisses Wichita] Finally got to first base. Not bad for that scrawny little spit-fuck.”Tagged: first base, spit fuck, scrawny
“[Searching for Twinkies] Where are you, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards?”Tagged: Twinkie, Spongy, yellow, Delicious, Bastards
“Tallahassee: Bill Murray, you’re a zombie? [Wichita hits Bill in his back with a golf club] Bill Murray: [cries in pain] Ow, I’m on fire! Ouch! Tallahassee: You’re not a zombie, you’re talking and...you’re okay? Bill Murray: The hell I am. Wichita: I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was...it was ‘you’ you.…”Tagged: zombies, Pain, zombie makeup
“[to Columbus] You’re thinking about fucking Wichita! [ignores Columbus’s taken-aback ‘no’ gesture] Hey, wish granted. She’s spent the last twenty-four hours fucking us both.”Tagged: Fucking, wishes
“Columbus: Take away a man’s son, you’ve truly given him nothing left to lose. Tallahassee: I haven’t cried like that since Titanic.”Tagged: Loss of a Child, Titanic
“Tallahassee: [discovers Hostess truck filled with Sno-Balls] Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? Where’s the fucking Twinkies? Columbus: I love Sno-Balls. Tallahassee: I hate coconut. Not the taste, consistency. Columbus: [eats a Sno-Ball] Fresh. Tallahassee: Oh, this Twinkie thing, it ain’t over yet.”Tagged: Fucking, Sno-Balls, Twinkies
“Tallahassee: Are you fucking with me? Columbus: Uh, no. You should actually limber up as well. Especially if we’re going down that hill. It is very important. Tallahassee: I don’t believe in it. You ever see a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelle?”Tagged: gazelle, Lion, limber
“Bill Murray: [dying] Is that how you say hello where you come from? Columbus: Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I can’t believe I shot Bill Murray. Tallahassee: Mr. Murray? Bill Murray: I’m just Bill, I think, now. Tallahassee: Bill? Bill Murray: Yeah? Tallahassee: [pokes at Bill’s wound] I don’t think we’re…”Tagged: Bill Murray, Murder, Gallows Humor, Regrets, Garfield Movie
“Tallahassee: [referring to Wichita and Little Rock, who previously hijacked them] They’re in the back, aren’t they? Little Rock: [pops up holding shotgun] Just me. Columbus: I’m really sorry. She was like a crouching tiger... Tallahassee: You got taken hostage by a 12-year-old? Columbus: Well, girls…”Tagged: Girls, boys, Guns, Puberty
“Goddamn it, Bill fucking Murray! I had to get that out. I don’t mean to gush. This is so surreal. I mean, you probably get this all the time. Maybe not lately, but I’m such a huge fan of yours. You know, I swear, I’ve seen every one of your movies a million times. I even loved your dramatic roles…”Tagged: Goddamn, Bill Murray, Fucking, masturbate
“Tallahassee: I’m not great at farewells, so, uh, that’ll do, pig. Columbus: That’s the worst goodbye I’ve ever heard, and you stole it from a movie.”Tagged: goodbye, Pig, Plagiarism
“Little Rock: Who’s Bill Murray? Tallahassee: I’ve never hit a kid before. I mean, that’s like asking who Gandhi is. Little Rock: Who’s Gandhi?”Tagged: Gandhi, Child Abuse, Bill Murray