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Tallahassee

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All Twinkies (5)Bill Murray (4)Fucking (4)Fuck (3)ass (2)Shit (2)Pretty Mouth (1)difficult (1)wishes (1)Reading (1)Exasperation (1)Girls (1)Bitch (1)Lion (1)Plagiarism (1)

From “Zombieland”

In Mexico, you know what they call Twinkies? ‘Los submarinos.’

Twinkies Mexico

You’ve got a pretty mouth. [hits a zombie with a banjo]

Deliverance Pretty Mouth

Hop in the car, Evel Knievel. Let’s go ride the rollercoaster.

Evel Knievel Rollercoaster

Come on! Anybody hungry? Tallahassee’s nice this time of year.

Hungry tallahassee

Where are the fucking Twinkies?

Twinkies Fucking Exasperation

Tallahassee: Wow, these fellas really let themselves go. Columbus: And they’re so fat.

slovenly fat Redundant

Columbus: Hey, for fuck’s sake, enough already! We are being chased by ravenous freaks. Like we don’t have enough problems. Oh, they stole my Hummer. Oh, we have trust issues. Well, get over it! We can’t just fucking drive down the road playing I Spy or some shit for two hours like four normal-ass…

Fuck Shit Trust ass Hummer

Hey, a little help with movin’ the couch. We’re makin’ a fort.

couch Fort

[Upon finding a Hummer filled with rifles] Thank God for rednecks.

Rednecks

Columbus: [in voiceover] You see, he was in the ass-kicking business and... Tallahassee: [Tallahassee, in flashback, rounds corner holding two chainsaws and wearing a welding mask, flips mask up] ...business is good.

Ass-Kicking Business

Here’s the deal: I’m not easy to get along with, and I’m sensing you’re a bit of a bitch.

Bitch difficult

Have you ever read that book ‘She’s Just Not That Into You’?

Books Reading she's just not that into you

[turning to Columbus, Wichita, and Little Rock after a zombie kill] What do you think? ‘Zombie Kill of the Week’?

Zombie Kill

[to Columbus] You can do anything you want to a man, but do not fuck with his Cadillac.

Fuck Cadillac

Columbus: Are you one of these guys that tries to one-up everybody else’s story? Tallahassee: No. I knew a guy way worse at that than me.

one-upmanship

Wichita: [playing Monopoly] Ooh! Free parking... Little Rock: Yeah. Wichita: —which coincidentally is the best thing about Zombieland. Columbus: You want to know the best thing about Z-land? No—no Facebook status updates. You know, Rob Curtis is gearing up for Friday. Who cares? Tallahassee: The…

Monopoly Facebook epic flush

There’s a box of Twinkies in that grocery store. Not just any box of Twinkies—the last box of Twinkies that anyone will enjoy in the whole universe. Believe it or not, Twinkies have an expiration date. Some day very soon, life’s little Twinkie gauge is gonna go...empty.

Twinkies Expiration Date Universe

Little Rock: No Twinkies. Tallahassee: Shit! fuck! Wichita: See, I told you we should have gone to Russell Crowe’s! No one listens to me.

Twinkies Shit Fuck Russell Crowe

Columbus: [Columbus sprays Tallahassee with perfume; Tallahassee turns around and glares at Columbus] Okay. Let me begin my three-part apology by saying that I think you’re a wonderful human, with great potential. Tallahassee: It’s okay...but FYI, I have beat wholesale ass for a whole lot less than…

human Potential ass

Bill Murray: You are staring at me. It’s a hairpiece! It’s a piece. Wichita: It’s—I’m sorry. No, it’s just that you look remarkably like Eddie Van Halen. Bill Murray: I just saw Eddie Van Halen. Wichita: Nuh-uh. Tallahassee: Really? Bill Murray: Yeah. Wichita: Wow. Tallahassee: Where? Bill Murray:…

Eddie Van Halen Bill Murray Hollywood Bowl Zombie hairpiece

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