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Tom Gammill and Max Pross

30 quotesBorn May 19, 1957

Tom Gammill (born May 19, 1957) and Max Pross (born March 22, 1957) are an American comedy writing team. Together they have written episodes for such successful shows as Seinfeld, The Critic, The Wonder Years, It's Garry Shandling's Show, and Monk. They have also worked as producers on The Simpsons and Futurama. 2Family Max Pross is married to Mira Velimirovic and has two children: Milena and Isaac. Tom Gammill is married to Sandy Gillis and has two children: Henry Gammill (born January 15, 1990) and Alice Gammill (born September 20, 1991). 2Early career Gammill was born in Darien, Connecticut. He contributed cartoons to Kids, a magazine "by kids for kids" published in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and then in New York City, from 1970 to 1975 under the co-editorship of Jenette Kahn (later president and editor-in-chief of MAD Magazine and DC Comics). Pross was born in Boston. He met Gammill at Harvard University, and they started to write comedy sketches together for Saturday Night Live in 1979. In 1981 they co-wrote Steve Martin's fourth NBC special "Steve Martin's Best Show Ever" with such notable comedy writers as Eric Idle, Dan Aykroyd, and Lorne Michael

All Bro (4)Mansiere (4)Male Bras (3)Underwear (3)Bras (3)Baldness (2)Coffee Table Books (1)Corporate Takeover (1)Wet T-Shirt Contest (1)Schindler's List (1)Free Will (1)Pie (1)Addiction (1)Job Interviews (1)orange (1)

From “The Pie”

Conformity is an obsession with me.

Conformity Team Players Job Interviews

Well, Poppie's a little sloppy.

hygiene Restaurant Inspections germs

This woman is bending my mind into a pretzel!

Pie mind games

From “The Glasses”

Remember that night I found you at Dinky Donuts? You were all hopped up on cinnamon swirls! They wouldn't serve you anymore! You wouldn't even have any teeth if it wasn't for me taking you over to Joe's fruit stand and stuff a cantaloupe down your throat! So much for gratitude...yeah, yeah, yeah!

Sugar Addiction Addiction

From “The Cigar Store Indian”

I don't get it. Not allowed to ask a Chinese person where the Chinese restaurant is! I mean, aren't we all getting a little too sensitive? I mean, someone asks me which way's Israel, I don't fly off the handle.

Political Correctness Hypersensitivity Social Justice Chinese Restaurants Israel

You know what would make a great coffee table book? A coffee table book about coffee tables! Get it?

Coffee Tables Books Coffee Table Books

From “The Raincoats”

Hey believe me, baldness will catch on. When the aliens come, who do you think they're gonna relate to? Who do you think is going to be the first ones getting a tour of the ship?

Baldness trends Aliens

I-I-I'm not crazy about used clothes. I mean they call it vintage, you know to take your mind off of what it really is ‘nasty wear.’ Oh it's clean you know people wear underwear, ya well they don't wear iron underwear and that's what it's gonna take to get me in those clothes. I mean I'll move into…

Used Clothes Thrift Stores Vintage Stores Underwear

Personal distance is a very important thing. There's a new personal distance, ATM distance. When someone's using an ATM, you wanna be about six feet back, don't you? Because people a little edgy around that ATM, don't they? They got their money out, their eyes are darting all around. The other place…

ATMs Personal Space urinals

You were making out during Schindler's List?

Schindler's List Holocaust Making Out Inappropriate

From “The Pledge Drive”

Your Nana is missing because she's been passing those bum checks all over town and she finally pissed off the wrong people.

Bank Fraud Bad Checks

From “The Mom & Pop Store”

Because you're a bunch of yuppies. It's your go-go corporate takeover lifestyles that are driving out these Mom and Pop stores and destroying the fabric of this neighborhood.

Yuppies Corporate Takeover Gentrification

From “The Race”

Kramer: You’re becoming one of the glitterati. George: What’s that? Kramer: People who glitter.

Glitterati

Good, Merry Christmas, George. And bring me back some of those cigars in the cedar boxes, you know the ones with the fancy rings? I love those fancy rings. They kind of distract you while you're smoking. The red and yellow are nice. It looks good against the brown of the cigar. The Maduro, I like…

Cigars Cuban Cigars Maduro Cuba

Well, you really got bald there, didn't you?

Baldness Cruelty

Just because you're a communist, does that mean you can't wear anything nice? You look like Trotsky. It's gorgeous. Fine, you want to be a communist, be a communist. Can't you at least look like a successful communist?

Communism Leon Trotsky Fashion Success

In four years of high school I would never race anyone again. Not even to the end of the block to catch a bus. And so the legend grew. Everyone wanted me to race. They begged me. The track coach called my parents. Pleading. Telling them it was a sin to waste my God-given talent. But I answered him…

Track And Field high school Racing Talent

From “The Doorman”

You know, selling bras exclusively to women, we're really only utilizing fifty percent of the market.

Male Bras Bras Underwear Bro Mansiere

Hey George, what do you like better? The ‘bro’ or the ‘mansiere’?

Male Bras Bras Bro Mansiere Man Boobs

I lived with him for forty years, I never saw him trying on my underwear. As soon as he leaves the house, he turns into J. Edgar Hoover!

Cross-Dressing Transvestitism J. Edgar Hoover Bro Mansiere

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