Book

Howard Stern Comes Again

by Madonna, Howard Stern, Tracy Morgan, Jerry Seinfeld, Ozzy Osbourne and 56 others

Rock stars and rap gods. Comedy legends and A-list actors. Supermodels and centerfolds. Moguls and mobsters. A president. Over his unrivaled four-decade career in radio, Howard Stern has interviewed thousands of personalities—discussing se

(161 total)

Characters

Donald Trump (10)Anderson Cooper (9)Billy Joel (7)Lady GaGa (7)Lena Dunham (6)Madonna (6)Conan O'Brien (6)Jay Z (6)Rosie O'Donnell (5)Ozzy Osbourne (5)

“I started to really examine comedy, and I noticed there’s two kinds of laughter. One is when you’re watching the comedian and he says a joke and then you laugh at it, because you heard the punch line. And sometimes it’s really funny and you’re laughing. And other times it’s okay, but you still laugh…”

— Steve Martin, amazon.com

Tagged: comedy, Laughter, punchline, Jokes

“Yeah, I am a stool pigeon. I’m a proud stool pigeon.”

— Henry Hill, amazon.com

Tagged: stool pigeon, police informant

“I just wanted to be myself. I didn’t want to be anything but myself.”

— Ellen Degeneres, amazon.com

Tagged: Being Yourself, Encouraging

“Congregations were low. He was sort of saying really, 'Get your act together, because we are bigger than Jesus at the moment.' Which infuriated—I still got a picture burnt into my memory of some young blond white kid when we were down in Lord knows where, Alabama or somewhere, hammering on the windo…”

— Paul McCartney, amazon.com

Tagged: John Lennon, Alabama, The Beatles, Bigger than Jesus

“Ellen: You don’t need to analyze this dream. I have this little tiny bird. This finch. This beautiful little finch. And I love it so much. And I put it in this beautiful bamboo—one of those tiered bamboo birdcages. As I put it in the cage, the bird becomes me. And I’m still me. And the bird is me in…”

— Ellen Degeneres, amazon.com

Tagged: Dreams, Freedom, Birds

“I had no material because I had never done anything. The reason I was funny, I guess, to friends is I would always be observational about situations. One thing I always observed is that people [when they’re eating] would start a sentence and then take a bite. So I started the sentence. I said, 'This…”

— Ellen Degeneres, amazon.com

Tagged: comedy, Meta

“And you know, whoever was really the thing when you were a teenager—not to make him feel old, but same with Rob Lowe. I worked with Rob Lowe. When Rob Lowe came out of the shower in The Outsiders, I was, like, fourteen. And I was like, 'Oh my God.' And I tell Rob Lowe that all the time.”

— Amy Poehler, amazon.com

Tagged: Rob Lowe, Teen Crushes

“Yeah, as soon as I walk into a party, I just want to leave. I just want to go home. I think as I get older, I’ve just gotten more anxiety around other people. I don’t know, I just feel less interested in a lot of people’s energy.”

— Amy Poehler, amazon.com

Tagged: Introvert, party

“It was kind of like—I don’t know if I want to get into that. But I do think that it’s interesting when you go through a divorce how everybody divorce is, like, not that special. So people are kind of interested, and then they’re just not anymore. It’s kind of like you get all the pain, but really no…”

— Amy Poehler, amazon.com

Tagged: Divorce, sympathy

“A lot of people think you look back and you say, 'Wow, what a successful career. It’s just amazing. It’s fantastic.' But I remember the flops, too. Those flops don’t go away.”

— Steve Martin, amazon.com

Tagged: Success, Career, flops

“My father was Catholic and my mother was Protestant. And they both agreed that religion was a bit tricky and they should avoid it in its troublesome sense. And so we had a healthy disrespect for what you might call formal religion. But somehow I found a way to still have a faith. Because you know th…”

— Bono, amazon.com

Tagged: Catholic, Protestant, Religion, Faith

“I would tell a story about us missing church as a family. We were Lutherans, and then we come in three weeks later and the Church Lady would look at us and say, 'Well, apparently someone just comes to church when it’s convenient.' And those rhythms were getting laughs in the clubs.”

— Dana Carvey, amazon.com

Tagged: Church Lady, Lutherans, Judgmental

“When you’re fifteen and you’re trying to figure out a way to perform, a magic act is perfect. Because you buy a trick and then it’s got patter written in the instructions. You know, 'Good evening, ladies and gentlemen...' You memorize that and you’ve got a show.”

— Steve Martin, amazon.com

Tagged: Magic, Performing, Standup Comedy

“Howard: That’s it. No God. Rodney: No. Howard: You’re a man of science. Rodney: Well, I don’t know about a man of science. But I’m logical.”

— Rodney Dangerfield, amazon.com

Tagged: Death, God, Science, Logic

“No. I very, very seldom enjoy myself. The only time I enjoy myself is when I’m being creative and I write something that they appreciate.”

— Rodney Dangerfield, amazon.com

Tagged: Enjohying Yourself

“I’ll tell you one quick thing that I can talk about that’s kinda cool. Similar but less dark. I was working on my book, which I’ve sort of stalled on at the moment. But I was working on the book and I was being lazy about saving the book, and I hit some weird key and the thing blanked. I lost eight…”

— Billy Corgan, amazon.com

Tagged: Ghosts, Supernatural

“When you’re a kid you tend to be more shallow, and you’re also immature, so you think that being with a good-looking person validates you in some kind of way. It’s not true. It’s ego.”

— Gwyneth Paltrow, amazon.com

Tagged: shallow, Immature, Validation, Ego, Good-Looking

“Yeah, I definitely fell in love with him. He was so gorgeous and sweet. And I mean, he was Brad Pitt! You know?”

— Gwyneth Paltrow, amazon.com

Tagged: brad pitt, Falling In Love

“Of course you see that as the ultimate validation and affirmation that you’re good. So I was thrilled to win. And of course you want to win an Oscar. It’s only once you have one that you’re like, 'Okay, well, I’m still just as confused and unhappy as I was yesterday.' You’re like, 'Huh.'”

— Gwyneth Paltrow, amazon.com

Tagged: Oscar, Academy Award, Validation, affirmation

“Yes. When I was, like, three years old, I could recite Chekhov and all this stuff. My mother, she really had such a hard time with lines. I remember when she was doing this TV show and she was playing a doctor. A gynecologist. And she had to tape her lines on the thigh of the girl whose vagina she w…”

— Gwyneth Paltrow, amazon.com

Tagged: Vagina, Chekhov, Gynecologist, Acting