Season 2

“Scott: I hate you more than ever, Terrance and Phillip! I absolutely abhor you both! [starts waving his arms in front of them; pause] Phillip: What are you doing, Scott? Scott: I'm wishing cancer upon you. Phillip: Cancer?! Scott: That's right! I'm trying to give you cancer with my mind! Terrance: […”

— Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Terrance, Matt Stone, imdb.com

“Scott: What are you idiots doing? Terrance: We're looking for treasure. Scott: Is that some kind of metaphor for a kind of search that can't be described? Phillip: No, we're searching for treasure.”

— Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Terrance, Matt Stone, imdb.com

“Scott: I hate you and I wish you both had cancer! Phillip: Cancer? Scott: Yes, in the head. Terrance: Head cancer? Scott: This is not the end, Terrance and Phillip. You'll rue this day.”

— Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Terrance, Matt Stone, imdb.com

“Scott: Terrance, you may be a famous surgeon, but you're not God! J’accuse, Terrance. Terrance: Would you like a Monkey Claw, Phillip? Phillip: Yes please. [Terrance farts] Terrance: That's called the Monkey Claw because it feels like my colon is being ripped apart by a thousand monkeys. Phillip: Th…”

— Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Terrance, Matt Stone, imdb.com

“Phillip: Terrance, you farted in court. Terrance: Yes Phillip, I'm making a case for our defense.”

— Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Terrance, Matt Stone, imdb.com

“Since the last South Park, you've waited four long weeks to find out who the father of Eric Cartman is. Now, finally, the shocking truth about Cartman's lineage… will not be seen tonight, so that we can bring you the following special presentation.”

— Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Announcer, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“No, dude, independent films are those black-and-white hippie movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding.”

— Nancy Pimental, Matt Stone, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Hey, everybody, have you seen my balls? They're big and salty and brown! If you ever need a quick pick-me-up, just stick my balls in your mouth! Suck on my Salty Chocolate Balls! [high-pitched voice] Put 'em in your mouth! [normal singing voice] Put 'em in your mouth and suck 'em and suck 'em! Suck…”

— Nancy Pimental, Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Chef, Isaac Hayes, imdb.com

“Hey! If you so much as touch Kitty's ass, I'll put firecrackers in your nut sack and blow your balls all over your pants!”

— Nancy Pimental, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Terrance: Scott really hates us, Phillip. Phillip: Yes, perhaps he's homophobic. Terrance: But we're not gay, Phillip. Phillip: We're not?”

— Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Terrance, Matt Stone, imdb.com